Everything
by selandora
Summary: "I'm scared he'll follow in Minato's footsteps!" It only makes sense that the man who created Naruto's seal would be the one to go to for help when it started breaking. narusaku
1. Prologue

_"It is only through the eyes of others our lives have meaning."  
- _Haku

* * *

His head felt like it was about to split in two. His cerulean eyes refused to open and he was powerless to move, powerless to think, powerless to speak. All he could feel and think was pain and there was no escaping it.

Was that screaming he could hear? He strained to listen but even that seemed too difficult a task for him. Agony distracted him and he felt his entire body clench in protest. Gritting his teeth he tried to focus, _focus_, _**focus**_.

Was that Sakura-chan screaming? He tried to picture her in his mind but the lines were blurred and the colours bled into one another like a wet painting. Her face finally cleared but trembled like an age old movie screen with every renewed wave of pain.

He held onto her image and thought of her eyes, eyes like emerald, eyes like sea foam, eyes that never failed to captivate him. He almost believed that the pain was slowly ebbing away but as his back arched and he began to fight to breathe, he realized darkly that even Sakura couldn't save him now.

Her name slipped out of his mouth before he could control himself. He reached out with a trembling hand for someone he wasn't even sure was there before a loud scream of pain cut him short. It was only moments later he realized the sound had come from him.

A smooth, husky voice murmured to him in his head, trying to calm him down. _Naruto, you can control this. You still have to become Hokage and protect Sakura. Focus Naruto. __**Focus**_

He was trying to focus but it was so damn _difficult_. His image of Sakura shattered into a thousand pieces he tried to put back together in vain. As he scrabbled to find them, the scattered shards were instantaneously replaced with a dimly lit sewer that was too foreboding to be real. He could hear snarling and metal rattling as small papers fluttered onto the surface of the ankle deep water.

Frustration was beginning to seep in through the pain. He scrabbled desperately to find his focus again but every time he did it slipped through his fingers like water until the sewer dragged him back into a world he wasn't even sure existed. He was growing so tired, he wanted to stop fighting but he had to keep going-


	2. Chapter 1 : Falling

**Chapter 1: Falling**

He heard the hum of the machines at his bedside first and the steady beep of a heart rate monitor. His eyelids fluttered open reluctantly and his vision blurred with tears as the bright light bested him. Fingers twitched as feeling returned to them very gradually and a chair screeched beside him as it dragged across the scratched linoleum tiles.

"I…" he tried to speak but his voice rasped with the lack of use.

"Naruto," a familiar voice cursed him partly in relief and partly in annoyance.

His body was sore and he turned his head slowly to his side so as to get a better look at the person whom had spoken. He smiled but his muscles strained with the effort to hold it in place and could only manage a small, soft smile. Thoughts swam around in his mind like koi in a pond; evasive when he wanted them and present when there was no need for them.

Realization dawned on him. He shot up and began in a rush, "Sakura-the mission-what happened-are the others-"

He burst into a fit of coughs at the strain he had put on his voice and his chest heaved with pain. A pair of firm, petite hands forced him back down onto the iron cast, sterile hospital bed. The expression in the medic's sea foam eyes silenced him immediately and he let his body fall against the mattress; though his mind felt as though it had been hurled into an abyss and was still falling.

"The mission was a success," she managed in a quiet whisper and a bemused expression flitted across his boyish features.

Something had gone wrong, he was certain of it. Why else would he be lying in a hospital bed, incapacitated with a red eyed medic by his side? The mission was something they had both worked towards for little less than half of their lives and if it was a success, why did she look like somebody had died?

He tried to sit up again but the slight pressure Sakura added to his chest made him back down. She looked as though she was on the verge of tears and all he wanted to do was comfort her as nothing could make her cry now. Something really awful must have happened but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

"Sakura-chan…" he trailed off uncertainly. Maybe he would be pushing it if he asked and maybe he didn't want to know what had happened.

Suddenly, he remembered something. He demanded, "Sasuke-bastard, Sakura, where's Sasuke?"

A painful silence reigned over the room. Naruto tried to capture Sakura's jade eyes but she avoided his demanding gaze. He saw her shoulders shake as she tried to restrain her tears and waited for her to answer.

"Sasuke-kun didn't come back, Naruto," she told him, her heart breaking all over again with every single word.

Naruto's brow furrowed for a few moments. Then, a relieved smile flitted across his face and he nudged her slightly, "Haha, very funny, Sakura-chan. Seriously, where's teme?"

"No, Naruto, Sasuke didn't come back," She repeated again more firmly this time. It was harder to say it the second time around and even she hadn't fully accepted the truth. Naruto straightened up and this time, Sakura didn't push him down.

The world stopped.

Naruto's voice took on a pleading tone as he begged Sakura, "But you said the mission was a success and how could that be if…"

"Retrieving Sasuke wasn't the mission objective, Naruto. It was to kill Orochimaru," she reminded him bitterly and suddenly, all the pieces clicked into place.

"No…" Naruto began, his cerulean eyes widening.

He couldn't think clearly, his mind was an endless string of denial that refused to let the truth in. He could have sworn he had seen Sasuke on the mission and the name caused long lost memories to surface in an abyssal pool of doubt.

Sasuke, sitting on a pier, Sasuke, leaning against the bridge, Sasuke, smirking at Ichiraku's, Sasuke, glaring back at him with blood red Sharingan, Sasuke, _Sasuke, __**Sasuke**__­-_

"Teme," he called the nickname.

Where was the bastard's answer? Where was the annoying 'dobe' he would have given his heart to hear? Naruto waited and waited for an answer, repeating the name over and over again in case Sasuke hadn't heard. The answer he so desperately longed for never came.

"**Sasuke!**" he screamed until his voice broke.

His voice made Sakura's resolve shatter and the windows shake with emotion. His screams were loud enough for the entire hospital to hear but no one came running into his room to check what was wrong. The dream Team 7 had been lost in an endless ocean of revenge and ambition till it hit the ocean floor and was washed away by waves of regret.

When Naruto finally came to terms with Sakura's painful words a half hour later, he let his blonde head drop dejectedly into his hands. The pink haired medic beside him felt the despair that was almost as bad as her own, felt the pain that flowed through both of their veins and felt the crack in her heart where one more person should have been.

She sat down on the edge of his hospital bed and he felt the taut springs sink with the added weight. Although Naruto's screams had been almost too difficult to bear, his stony silence was twice as heart wrenching. Sakura's shoulders began to tremble very slowly as she tried to control her breathing. She became self conscious of the pastel curtain that covered her face and hid behind it so that Naruto wouldn't see the soft pearls trickle down her face like rivulets of blood.

"I-I'm so sorry Naruto," she whispered shakily. She didn't trust herself to speak any louder because if she did, she knew he would hear her tears.

"It wasn't your fault," he told her in an empty voice.

"No, I'm sorry I wasn't with you…on the mission," she was finding it harder and harder to keep on talking. Naruto's head lifted from his calloused hands and his cerulean eyes bore through the curtain of pink to meet her avoiding gaze.

"If I had gone maybe I could have helped-" her voice broke at the end of her sentence and she gasped loudly for air in the choking and incriminating silence.

A large hand tentatively touched her shoulder and she met a pair of watery cyan eyes.

As she threw herself into Naruto's waiting embrace, a flood of pain and acceptance broke through her crumbling walls. Sasuke was gone, _gone_, and for now they were all that was left of the original Team 7. Her fingers gripped the front of his hospital gown until her knuckles turned white and his arms crushed her to his muscular frame, the both of them holding onto each other as if they were drowning and were each other's only hope to survive.

And all heroes fell.

Sometimes they fell in a blaze of long sought after glory and sometimes they fell like dominoes but sometimes, they slipped through the cracks unnoticed and unbidden until it was too late to bring them back.

* * *

"Shouldn't you be at the graveyard and not at the memorial stone?" an uncharacteristically quiet voice asked the silver haired figure. 

His mismatched eyes never left the surface of the jet black tablet. Even in the afternoon rain, the memorial stone was still shiny and onyx - _onyx like his eyes -_ and he kept on staring at a name that should have been there. Even though his silver hair was plastered to his pale face and he could feel the cold seep into his bones, he couldn't bring himself to move away.

"No," Kakashi's voice sounded hollow to even his own ears but he couldn't care anymore.

Scuffed black shoes squelched in the rainwater as they made their painfully slow progress towards the copy-nin. Sai came to a halt beside him and he too began to stare at the heroes' legacy. Kakashi had half a mind to tell him to go away but he only had half a mind and let it go.

"Sasuke-san's name isn't on here though. Shouldn't you be mourning at his grave instead? That's what people do when their friends die, isn't it?" Sai inquired curiously.

Kakashi shrugged. His work worn hands were tucked deep inside his smoky grey pants that had been stained black in the afternoon rain - _black like his hair -_ and let the shattering rain drops fill his tired ears with the sound of temporary innocence.

Temporary innocence, he mused. Could innocence purify a tainted heart before corruption won out in the end and stained it black with dishonour? Or was innocence really _only_ temporary and fleeting, like a glimpse of hope or despair?

"There's no need to go to his grave," Kakashi answered with the fatigue of a world weary man.

"His body isn't here though, and neither is his name," the artist interrupted his train of thought, confusion laced skilfully into the lulling tones of his beautiful voice.

The head of silver hair lowered ever so slightly as a humourless smile formed and his navy blue - _navy clothes, navy like a shirt emblazoned with a once proud emblem - _mask pulled taut. Sai's eyes flicked to the subtle movement underneath the mask, underneath the man.

"Sai, do you honestly believe those things really matter?" his words lingered on the silver streaked air but his enigmatic eyes never changed.

Sai's dark eyebrows knitted together as his puzzled brown eyes tried to make sense of things. He confessed uncertainly, "I don't understand."

"_I don't understand," a boy who always will be just a boy confesses, his Sharingan eyes furrowing in confusion-_

"A name or a body doesn't make a person. It's the impression they've left on the rest of the world and how they're remembered that does," the tired jounin explained with the wisdom of a sage.

Something in the copy-nin's voice alerted Sai that he had no intention of furthering the conversation, as confusing as it may have been. However, Sai was content to stand in silence beside his team leader and Kakashi let him stay because this time he didn't want to suffer alone.

* * *

"Does Naruto remember anything?" a question erupted from Jiraiya's pale, chapped lips. 

It seemed as though he had had as much sleep as the blonde woman sitting across from him. The dark circles underneath his solemn brown eyes told a story of sleepless nights beside an almost grandchild's bedside.

"Jiraiya, he hasn't woken up in days and I wouldn't have asked him anything even if he had. There are other things he needs to think about right now," she told him in a voice soaked with sympathy and annoyance.

"I _know_ but if Naruto remembers it'll kill him. Sasuke meant so much to him and especially after that fight with-" Jiraiya protested hurriedly but Tsunade's intense amber gaze silenced him immediately.

She began quietly, "You can't protect Naruto all the time, Jiraiya. You can't make up for Minato by insisting you hold Naruto's hand every waking second. Naruto is not Minato and you have to realize-"

"I know they're two different people, damn it," Jiraiya snapped, his already crumbling self control shattering with the reality of her words.

Tsunade retorted heatedly, "I don't think you do, Jiraiya. You've replaced Minato with Naruto and he deserves so much better than that-"

"I haven't replaced anyone, Tsunade! Why do you always presume you know everything when you don't?" he argued and her eyes flashed.

Her voice steadily began to rise, "Why do you always ignore everyone? If somebody says something you don't want to hear even if they're right, you'll block them out and if things become too hard to bear you'll run away from them."

He scoffed at her and said sarcastically, "This is coming from the woman who ran away from Konoha because she couldn't save her fiancé."

"Dan has nothing to do with this," She hissed at him, her chair shrieking as she stood up abruptly.

"Neither does Minato," he retorted, brown eyes flashing angrily.

She snapped at him, "Minato has _everything_ to do with this, Jiraiya. You should know that better than everyone else, after the fight between Orochimaru and Naruto. Naruto isn't so stupid he won't figure out what really happened and what if he still remembers anyways? He'll have to know sometime."

Something in Jiraiya's eyes changed. "I don't want Naruto to know about Minato because-"

"Because what? Because you're scared he'll realize that he did have a family at some point? Because he's not old enough? Well, wake up all fucking ready, you aren't Naruto's dad and he's old enough to face the facts!" Tsunade shouted.

"**I don't want him to know because I'm scared he'll follow in Minato's footsteps!**" Jiraiya yelled at her.

Silence.

It filled the room with unvoiced regrets and surfacing fears. It made Jiraiya collapse into a chair and drop his head of white hair into his rough hands and Tsunade's hazel eyes widen with the knowledge that she had pushed him too far.

Then she realized Jiraiya was right. She didn't know everything.

* * *

When his cerulean eyes opened again, his surroundings had morphed completely. The sound of painfully slow dripping water reached his sensitive ears, echoing off of the damp circular walls and causing ripples to spread across the murky green water. There was no light source and yet, there was light dim as it was. 

_Drip…drip…drip…_

He had been here before, he realized. This was the inside of the wretched seal, where Kyuubi was currently housed against his own free will. Something small and white floated past him on the sewer channel and his sharp eyes instantly darted to it. It was a paper seal. A chill ran throughout his entire body.

_Drip…drip…drip…_

His feet began to move subconsciously in the direction that the broken seal had come from. The narrow path looked blacker than midnight the further down he looked but as he took a step into it, failing light lit his path. He wondered if maybe the light was coming _from _him but instantly shook off that ridiculous theory.

_Drip…drip…_

Was that metal rattling he could hear? The humid air smelled of thick smoke and tantalizing power and his footsteps quickened, leather slapping against the wet surface of the floor. A sound akin to that of someone dragging their nail across the bars of a prison cell began, growing more and more agitated with each pause and repeat.

He hadn't noticed that the spine tingling drip had come to a halt; his shoes were the loudest thing in the sewers now. The faint metal sound continued and he was drawn towards it as if in a trance. The beginnings of a low rumble sounded throughout the tunnels, rebounding off the walls and echoing back and forth until it was no more but a whisper in the nonexistent wind.

"…**Konoha…"** a deep, bass voice growled. After hearing his village's name, Naruto came to a halt listening intently for more.

He could hear nothing anymore and began to sprint towards the sound, something was wrong. He knew it was the Kyuubi and, after seeing the broken seal, cold dread had lodged itself deep inside his heart. As water lapped over the edges of his navy sandals and drenched his large feet, he knew he was getting closer. The restless swish of a gigantic tail and a loud growl caused the ground to tremble and the water to ripple.

"**I'm going to destroy Konoha!" **A devastating roar travelled throughout the sewers, rebounding and reverberating. It seemed to grow louder with every repeat until it felt like Naruto's head was going to split in half.

His feet came to a halt. His cerulean gaze slowly travelled up the length of the thick bars, covered with multitudes of complex seals. His eyes met the bloody crimson ones of the Kyuubi's and almost instantaneously, Naruto was thrown to the floor twenty feet away. Waves of corrupted red chakra had forced him back and he was struggling to catch his breath in the intensity of it all.

"**Minato, I'll kill you! You and that stupid village!" **the anguished screams of the Kyuubi continued, his ivory fangs snapping at the door that caged him.

Three metre long claws were forced through the spaces in between the rusting bars. They came close to stabbing Naruto but he managed to roll away just in time. The Kyuubi let out a roar of frustration and slammed itself against its prison in an unreasonable frenzy.

"I'm not Minato!" Naruto yelled at the Kyuubi in an attempt to make him understand that he meant no harm.

"**Are lies the only things that come out of your mouth?" **the Kyuubi demanded, his accusing evil eyes glared at Naruto.

"I'm Naruto, Uzumaki Naruto!" he tried to make the Kyuubi see but it let out another thunderous roar, trying to spear Naruto onto one of its razor sharp claws.

"**Shut up! I'll kill you!" **It screamed, slamming itself against the bars repeatedly.

The metal shuddered and Naruto could only watch in horror as more of the seals began to fall away. He could hear the prison straining to hold back the tainted chakra and blinding fear raced throughout his entire body.

He saw the claws race towards him but was powerless to move. His mind was screaming at him to get out of the way but his body refused to obey and he shut his eyes, waiting for his impending death.

A pair of strong arms hauled him out of the way. He was suddenly forced to his feet and it felt as though his wrist was going to be yanked from its socket. He stumbled along behind a saviour he could only dimly see and if possible, the Kyuubi's screams escalated in pitch and volume until his ears were ringing painfully.

"_I haven't got much time so listen carefully. You're going to wake up in a few minutes in the hospital again with Sakura," _a warm, enrapturing voice told him and Naruto nodded dumbly, even though the person wasn't looking back at him.

As they turned a corner, the man's clothes cracked impressively with the force of their momentum. He continued urgently, "_Your seal is breaking. If it breaks, you will die and the Kyuubi will destroy Konoha and everyone in it." _

Almost as if in on cue, the Kyuubi let out another frustrated roar. The walls trembled and the water rippled as the powerful elemental threw himself against the bars again.

"_You have to hold back the Kyuubi at all costs. It will take a lot of mental strength to keep him sealed but I know you can do it. I'll always be here to help you out along the way," _he finished.

Blinding white light took over the entire tunnel and before it could completely obscure Naruto's vision, he glimpsed a flash of white teeth and a heartbreaking smile.

* * *

**Next Chapter Preview: Silk**

_"I...I feel like I'm-I'm burning."_

"I _need_ to go back to Naruto."  
"No. You can't do anything for him in your condition. You'll only hurt yourself and Naruto if you try to."

**"I'm not Minato!"  
_"You're not. I should know."_**

* * *

**A/N:**  
Hooeey, first chapter down, God only knows how many more to go. I hope this story doesn't move _too _slowly but it'll probably be quite short. I'd just like to thank everyone who reviewed on the prologue and hopefully you guys liked this chapter. :) 

**Selandora (the sickeningly emotional undeniably sexy one you all must fear. sort of.)**


	3. Chapter 2 : Silk

_We both could share our endless dreams  
If you were here  
- _24 Hours, Cueshe

* * *

The creaking springs of Naruto's hospital bed awoke her, along with the agitated sounds of rustling fabric. Her jade green eyes flashed open and she laid eyes upon the demon container's writhing, pained figure. Instantly, her heart leapt to her throat and she laid a hand upon his exposed arm in an attempt to calm him down. She snatched her hand back almost immediately, the intense heat scalding her. 

"Naruto, what's wrong?" she asked him.

Naruto's breaths were coming in short gasps and he managed shakily, "I...I feel like I'm-I'm burning."

She laid her petite hand against his sweaty forehead and when she made to move it away, his calloused fingers kept it in place. His cerulean blue eyes were fogged over but at the same time as intense as sunlight on a clear summer day and held hers.

"No, k-keep your hand there…it's cold," he explained.

She said something in an attempt to comfort him but she couldn't remember what anymore. She had known that her voice shook slightly with worry as she spoke and her smile faltered but neither of them let on that they had noticed. He reluctantly let go of her hand and she sat on the side of his bed, pressing her fingertips against his burning temple. His eyes shut. She began to send a steady wave of cool, healing chakra throughout his body in an attempt to regulate his body temperature.

He gasped and his hand reached out blindly for something, _anything_, to soothe the fire that seethed inside of him. Her hand seemed to move of its own accord and gripped his much larger hand in her own, pressing it against her cool cheek. She found her vision blurring and felt blind unreasonable fear race through her.

What if he died? He couldn't die, she had just lost Sasuke and she couldn't bear to lose another team mate; especially _him_. He couldn't, _wouldn't_, die but he was scaring her so much and what would happen if she couldn't help?

His erratic movements came to a slow but his breathing was still laboured. She wasn't sure if he was improving or not but she was almost terrified to ask him. Her medic instincts had thrown themselves out of the window and onto the pavement some several stories down in her fight to save him.

"Silk," his low voice startled her.

"What?" she asked incredulously. Maybe his fever made him delirious.

"Your chakra…it feels like silk," he explained.

His ocean blue eyes opened with all the endlessness of an underwater crevasse. She let her hand drop from his back onto his temple and began to channel even more chakra throughout his entire body. His hand slipped slightly to her long, graceful neck and he watched her through captivating sapphire orbs.

The seconds ticked away as she sat at his bedside but they felt like hours to her. Her chakra was all but drained out of her from a long day's hard work but Naruto's eyes remained open, staring at her with the unfailing trust of a child or a comrade in arms. She pulled out a thermometer from within the folds of her medic uniform and began to check his temperature. It emitted a small beep after a little while and she took it out, her eyes widening in shock.

The thermometer read 50 degrees Celsius. He should have been dead.

She smashed her hand against the assistance button at his side, cursing herself for her stupidity. She spoke into the intercom urgently, "Have Tsunade-sama come to room 412 to assist Uzumaki Naruto. Immediately."

Five long, difficult minutes later, the sound of high heels clacking against chipping linoleum reached her ears. Tsunade burst through the doors and all but threw Sakura away from Naruto, settling into the same position the pink haired med-nin had been in moments ago. As she tried to soothe Naruto's high fever, she demanded details on Naruto's condition.

"He's been like this for ten minutes. I tried to regulate his body temperature and at the moment his temperature is fifty degrees Celsius," She informed her former shishou and Tsunade's hazel eyes darted to Sakura's for a split second.

"Fifty degrees Celsius?" Tsunade repeated, waiting for Sakura's confirmation. Sakura nodded wordlessly and the blonde haired woman's jaw clenched.

Tsunade began, "Sakura, I want you to go find Jiraiya and Yamato."

Sakura opened her mouth to protest and the Godaime interrupted her before she could manage anything, "Don't ask why, just do it."

* * *

Silver haired Hatake Kakashi stood slouched against the dingy wall of an alleyway. A smoking cigarette was held leisurely between two fingers and his navy mask pooled around his pale neck like a scarf. Tendrils of smoke reached out like desperate fingers towards the dark sky and as the sound of slapping stilettos reaching his ears, his eyes darted to the entrance of the alleyway. 

A pink haired woman's shoe suddenly gave way and the heel broke with a resounding snap. There were only two pink haired women in Konoha and only one of them was a ninja who wore black gloves, so he realized it was Sakura. He yanked his mask over his face again, the stifling sensation washing over him, before he headed towards her and into the light.

"Where's the fire, Sakura-chan?" Kakashi asked her, the corners of his mouth curving upwards against the fabric and his eyes crinkling out of force of habit.

She glanced upwards at Kakashi before swearing colourfully at her broken stiletto. Her petite hands struggled to remove it and she ignored his previous question, demanding, "Kakashi-sempai, do you know where Jiraiya-san and Yamato-sempai are?"

"They passed the alleyway a couple of times," he supported unhelpfully.

Sakura stood up, her shoes in her hands and her jade green eyes darted to the burning cigarette in his hand. She ignored it for now and put it to the back of her mind for later interrogation.

Her voice took on a more pleading tone, "Kakashi-sempai, _please_, Tsunade-hime wants them. It's about Naruto."

Suddenly Kakashi's eye narrowed. He stabbed his hardly smoked fag into the wall, marking it black, and let it drop to the floor. He bit into his calloused thumb until it bled crimson and placed his fingertips against the ground, murmuring, "Kuchiyose no jutsu" under his breath. Pakkun appeared with another dog and scratched at his ear lazily before turning to Kakashi with drowsy eyes.

"You called?" he asked with a dopey smile.

Kakashi ordered the two of them, "I need the two of you to find Jiraiya and Yamato and then to bring them to the Godaime as fast as possible."

They disappeared without an answer and Sakura stood by his side nervously. An uncomfortable silence had fallen over the both of them (well, _Sakura _thought it was uncomfortable) and her gaze travelled to the thumb Kakashi had in his mouth. She beckoned for him to give her his hand and he wiped it first on his baggy trousers. A faint river of chakra leaked into his thumb, sealing it up again.

Suddenly, her legs gave way. Kakashi's advanced reflexes were the only thing that kept him from dropping her to the floor. He steadied her with his hands and she noticed absentmindedly that he smelled faintly like smoke and deodorant, a smell not entirely unpleasant. His cold, gloved hand tilted her chin up to meet his intense gaze.

For a moment, he was completely silent. Then he inquired in a low, husky voice, "Your eyes aren't focussing properly. How much chakra do you have left?"

"I-I don't think I have any," she whispered weakly.

"Can you walk?" he questioned her and Sakura straightened up, testing her legs.

At first, she seemed perfectly fine but her knees collapsed on the fourth step. Kakashi gripped her arms tightly and said to her, "I'll help you home. Where's your house?"

"I need to go back to Naruto," she protested and Kakashi forced her to look at him again.

"No. You can't do anything for him in your condition. You will hurt yourself and Naruto if you try to," he told her harshly.

Her jade eyes flickered to the ground angrily and her jaw clenched because she knew that he was right. She didn't know what was happening to Naruto though and it was making her nervous and desperate to get back to him. But if she was only going to hurt him…

She argued weakly, "I won't help, I just want to be with him. I don't want to…"

The awkward silence that followed finished her sentence off for her. _I don't want to lose another team mate._

"Naruto will not die if that's what you're thinking. You, however, might if you go. If you won't show me where your house is, I will drag you to mine," he told her very seriously.

"But Naruto-" she tried again but Kakashi had already picked her up.

Her mind was desperate to get back to Naruto, but her body was too tired to respond. Kakashi had brought her close to his chest and held her tightly to prevent her from slipping away. Although she struggled, it was feeble and she eventually gave up. Her eyes shut and her head very gradually began to sag against Kakashi's chest. The rhythmic thud, thud of his steady heartbeat calmed her down.

"Naruto'll be fine. He's much stronger than you give him credit for," his chest vibrated as he spoke.

She said quietly, "Yeah…because of the Kyuubi."

"Not only that. He's the kind of guy you wouldn't be able to beat down with a spiked metal club," Kakashi's words made Sakura smile slightly.

"Do you think…do you think he'll be okay?" she couldn't help but ask.

Kakashi's mouth tightened subtly underneath his navy mask. He answered, "That kid has Tsunade-hime, Yamato-san and Jiraiya-san with him. It'd be difficult for him to die with those three around."

* * *

Naruto flickered in and out of reality like a failing light bulb. One moment, he was staring up into Tsunade's sweaty face and the next he was trapped in a complex network of twisting tunnels. 

Then the screaming began and he flinched suddenly as though he had been hit. He fell to his knees and water splattered about the place - _had he fallen? He thought he was lying down _– and the trickle of cooling chakra felt like ice water sliding down his back. There was someone trying to help him up, a figure dressed entirely in white – _wasn't Tsunade just there? _– and was replaced with a blonde woman once again.

The sewers registered again in his mind and the real world melted away. He covered his ears to drown out the painful screaming, the screams of a being betrayed, and felt a slender fingered hand on his shoulder.

"Naruto," a harsh woman's voice broke in helpless frustration.

"_Naruto," _a soft voice murmured.

"Naruto," a white haired man whispered, racing to his bedside.

"_**Minato!**_**" **The screams echoed in the chambers of his mind – _mind? Seal – _and ricocheted off the walls like a ping pong ball.

"**I'm not Minato!" **Naruto screamed. His unexpected words made Jiraiya and Tsunade stiffen in shock.

"_You're not," _The calming voice from before told him in a tone that sounded so familiar. He knelt down in front of him.

It was too dark to make out any of his facial characteristics, but his eyes sparkled like two bright stars. His spiky hair cast an odd shadow on the ground and Naruto could make out the strong, chiselled features of his face.

The man's hand reached out, two fingers pressed together as if to poke him in the forehead. Naruto closed his eyes, awaiting the impact but they flashed open in surprise when instead the man's hand ruffled his hair fondly. He could see the beginnings of a soft smile play across his darkened face.

"_I should know."_

He was suddenly hurled from his world of sewers and back into one of sterile hospital beds and whitewashed walls. It felt as though he had lost a part of himself and he felt utterly lost and weak. He hated the feeling but as his gaze fell upon Yamato and the wooden stakes around him, he understood. He passed a tired hand over his dull blue eyes.

"Naruto, how do you feel?" Tsunade's voice was unnaturally quiet. Jiraiya was as white as a sheet and avoided his gaze, whereas beads of perspiration trickled down Yamato's flushed face.

The wooden statues rattled in protest before sinking into the ground and disappearing from view. Naruto's restrained chakra returned to him in a faint trickle and Yamato promptly left the room after receiving a commanding look from the white haired sannin.

"I…" He trailed off in a dry voice, his head spinning slightly. An elusive memory flashed in his head for the briefest of moments.

_Spiky blonde hair, calming blue eyes that seemed so dead and the rain was falling in silver streaks like a-_

"Naruto?" she pressed him.

_-a scene from an age old movie and he swore he had seen this scene play out before. A smile, a smile that he had only seen on the faces of parents as they looked upon their children, a smile he so _desperately _longed for was-_

"I feel fine now," Naruto answered. His voice had been sharper and curter than he had intended but mused to himself there was nothing that could be done about what had been said now.

If Naruto thought his voice had been sharp, Jiraiya's could cut through marble without any resistance. "Where did you hear that name, Naruto?"

His golden brow furrowed in confusion and he asked, "What name?"

"Minato. Namikaze Minato," Tsunade reminded him and Jiraiya's dark eyes flashed in warning. The blonde haired Hokage ignored it.

"Minato…?" The name rolled off of Naruto's thick tongue as if he were testing it for the first time.

_-was fixed on his strong, soft face and it made him feel strange like he was actually _loved-

"You were screaming it just a few moments ago," Jiraiya informed him in a low, contemplative undertone.

The sewers flashed in Naruto's mind and the Kyuubi's tortured screams echoed in his ears. Naruto swallowed painfully and lied, "I don't remember where I heard it…"

Disappointment shimmered in the depths of Jiraiya's eyes and Naruto then ventured, "Who's Minato?"

Tsunade began, "Minato is your-"

-_a hand reached out to touch him and the rain fell in silver streaks, casting an age old flicker on the tragic scene-_

"Sealer. He's the fourth Hokage that sealed the Kyuubi in you," Jiraiya interrupted before she could finish the end of her sentence.

It was Tsunade's turn to be disappointed and she stared at the impassive white haired sannin with eyes that could make the strongest of men buckle to their knees. However, he avoided her gaze with the ease of a man with something to hide. A tense silence fell over the room and Naruto found the words that had been threatening to spill out of his mouth had fled in the presence of his unexpected answer.

* * *

Her jade eyes were simmering with unshed tears but she continued staring up at the dull ceiling as the uncomfortable sofa pressed against her back in protest. Her bare legs were propped up onto a certain copy-nin's lap and his jet black eye scanned the pages of his familiar orange book. 

"I didn't know you smoked," she commented quietly.

A wry grin stretched across Kakashi's face underneath his navy mask. He answered her grimly, "Well, now you do."

"When did you start?" she asked, wondering if she would even get an answer from the antisocial copy-nin. He didn't tend to open up about his tragic past and the little Sakura knew about the evasive man was learned through other people.

"Started with Asuma some twenty years back," He replied nonchalantly. The name tainted the air with awkwardness and Sakura was briefly reminded of a possibly dying boy in a hospital.

She let her eyes close. The silence was contemplative and the sounds of a page being turned were the only startling icebreakers.

"It must've been after the Yondaime died. Asuma's mother died in the confusion. It was only really after the Kyuubi was gone that we all had time to mourn," he mused aloud, flipping another page with a gloved finger.

It surprised her Kakashi was being so open today, but he subconsciously knew it was because he would have tried to give her, Naruto and Sai anything they wanted in a heartbeat at the moment. Sasuke's death had affected him much more than it should've and he was becoming gradually more paranoid that his students would be ripped away from him, one by one.

"The Yondaime seemed like an amazing person. He must've struggled a lot when it came to sacrificing himself to save the village," she observed quietly.

Kakashi shut his book. He slipped it into one of the many pockets on his jounin flak jackets and let his eyes rove over the bare back wall of his home. He agreed with a smile that felt utterly fake and hollow, "He was. I couldn't have asked for a better sensei."

"He was your sensei?" Sakura exclaimed in surprise and Kakashi nodded stiffly.

The tense silence that followed contrasted sharply with the brief one just a few moments before. The medic-nin felt she must have brought something painful to the surface and cleared her throat awkwardly.

"You never smoked around us though," she commented and dark humour flitted in the depths of his onyx eye.

He explained, "Yondaime-sama would probably have killed me if he found out I was smoking, let alone smoking in front of children."

"Your lungs are going to go black," she pointed out in disapproval and Kakashi shrugged.

"They probably already are," he reasoned.

His apartment was surprisingly clean for somebody with an infamous reputation for being exceptionally tardy. One thing, she noted in particular, was the rosewood bookshelf tucked into a corner filled with brightly coloured books with a large red warning sign on them. It smelled of smoke (a scent she had begun to associate with Kakashi) and of sweat but she didn't really mind.

"Are you and Naruto okay?" asked Kakashi in an uncharacteristic moment of concern.

Sakura covered her jade eyes with a lithe arm and shifted slightly on the threadbare sofa. She shrugged imperceptibly before answering, "I don't know. Naruto didn't remember anything about the fight and he kept asking for Sasuke so I had to tell him…he didn't take the news well. I thought I was over Sasuke's death but seeing Naruto break down made me realize how wrong I really was."

Kakashi's silence was understanding and he removed his battered forehead protector, placing it on the floor beside the sofa quietly. The cogs of regret in his mind had already been working overdrive and were now pushed to the breaking point.

Sakura cleared her throat and said with a bitter smile, "I just thought that after working so hard, we'd finally get him you know. Maybe it would have been different if I had gone on the mission and not listened to Naruto…"

"Sasuke had already been possessed to the point he no longer had any control over his own body. I had to kill him," he explained in a melancholy undertone.

Tears Sakura thought she had forced down sprung to her jade eyes at the new piece of information. She said in a whisper, "I heard rumours but…I didn't really know if it was you. I always kind of expected Naruto to do it."

"Naruto would never have been able to kill Sasuke," Kakashi murmured.

His hold on his book tightened until his hands were turning white and he left marks in the cover from his blunt fingernails. It didn't escape her notice and she stared at his suffering in amazement and understanding. He suddenly realized what he was doing to it and relaxed his hands, averting his mismatched eyes guiltily. His throat felt thick and heavy and he couldn't bring himself to say anything, settling for a stoic and stony silence.

"Did he suffer?" she asked quietly, her eyes burning.

Kakashi answered her emotionlessly, "No. It was quick."

And then Sakura didn't know what to say. Was she meant to be glad that he had died painlessly? She settled for a quiet, "Ah" that she didn't really mean and Kakashi closed his eyes.

It was all a matter of time before she broke down. He was counting down the seconds in his mind and became marginally glad that he hadn't told her everything. A minute passed and he was silently congratulating her for having held up for so long. At a minute and twenty seconds, she had begun to tremble.

He supposed he should have comforted her but somehow, he couldn't bring himself to do it. Maybe he was being selfish, to want to see someone suffering as he was. His onyx eyes glazed over as a memory took a hold of him.

"_Kakashi-sensei, I can't hold him back for much longer," the raven haired Uchiha had managed painfully, his eyes struggling with a sickening contrast between murky amber eyes and crimson Sharingan. _

_The rain fell like icy needles upon his back, piercing his heart with every traitorous raindrop. His jaw clenched and his hand tightened around his kunai. He supposed that once upon a time it would have made him happy that Sasuke still considered him his sensei, but the honorific only made his heart clench and the pain twenty times greater._

_Sasuke's back had arched as he fell to the ground, trying to hold back the corrupted sannin. His fingers clawed at the dirt and he raised his head with so much more effort than it should have taken, his gaze blood red and struggling. He had gasped as yellow began to bleed through the red again and Kakashi had met his eyes. _

_The rain had fallen like icy needles upon his back and his hand had crackled like burning thunder. With every step he took, he could hear his mind screaming at him to stop and that there was another way. As his hand plunged through the body of the boy who had always been – _and would always be -_ his favourite, the wheels of a once proud clan turned for the last time and came to a reluctant halt. _

_

* * *

_

**Next Chapter Preview: Edo Tensei**

_"I've wanted to see you for a long time, you know. It must have been difficult for you to grow up alone but there were so many times I wanted to come back and make things right."_

**_"If we had meant nothing to Orochimaru, we wouldn't be alive. He had so many chances to kill us but never took them."_**

"I don't want to go back to the hospital anymore, Sakura. It reminds me too much of..."

**"Naruto, promise me."**

**

* * *

**

A/N:  
Well, second chapter down. Things will get much more interesting in the next chapter and I think that the whole moping over Sasuke thing is mainly over. Naruto and Sakura will still get their romance but it'll progress pretty fast since this is a short story. It might even be unrealistic in places. Oh! And you find out who the mysterious man in Naruto's head is in the next chapter. I think it's pretty obvious who it is but maybe that's cause I'm writing it. -.-;;

**Selandora (the sickeningly emotional undeniably sexy one you all must fear.)**


	4. Chapter 3 : Edo Tensei

**Chapter 3: Edo Tensei**

_Use me as you will  
__Pull my strings just for a thrill  
__And I know I'll be okay  
__Though my skies are turning grey  
__- Guardian Angel by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

* * *

_

_The wooden coffin had risen from the ground and pulled itself upright, the character for four etched into its front in a bloody, garish red. Naruto had watched it open through horrified eyes and revealed a man he had only heard of in heroic stories long past._

_And their cerulean gazes had met. _

_His heart had leaped to his throat and then blinding anger had blurred his vision. The man responsible for all of his suffering was standing right in front of him and all Naruto needed to do was pull out a katana and destroy him. Something had stopped him, some irrational need to speak to him, to ask him why –_ why – _he had chosen Naruto._

_Before he could ask, the Yondaime had smiled. It was a smile he had seen too many time to count, a smile he had longed for but had never received because of his reluctant nature. It was a smile filled with the effortless, unrequited love of a parent and all of the questions Naruto could have asked faded into oblivion. _

_He shook his head sharply and told himself it was genjutsu. This was not the Yondaime standing in front of him. That was not a smile meant for him. He couldn't convince himself though as the muffled thump of footsteps was hindered by the falling rain that fell like silver distractions. Naruto could no longer move and could only stare at his dead embodied reflection and greatest enemy._

"I've wanted to see you for a long time, you know," _the Yondaime's voice had been soft, melancholy. _

_The rain had pelted down upon both of them in protest to this impossible reunion but neither of the men had taken any notice. A thousand cruel retorts surfaced in Naruto's mind but he found he could no longer voice them. The white coat, a coat he had worked towards for his entire life, rustled about them and was then promptly silenced again._

_This scene had played out before in Naruto's head like a well rehearsed scene, slightly different and improved with each repeat. They all followed the same plotline though; Naruto would always kill the Yondaime, always expose the once beloved Hokage for the monster only Naruto knew he was and then the Kyuubi would somehow fade into nothingness. He would be accepted as the hero he really was and become Hokage. _

_But now the curtain had risen and the final performance was at hand, Naruto had forgotten all his lines and even what the play had been about in the first place. _

"It must have been difficult to grow up alone. There were so many times I wanted to come back to you and make things right," _he murmured quietly. _

_This man he had only met for under five minutes had already worked his way under his skin and loved Naruto so fully, so unconditionally that Naruto found himself asking why, _why, _couldn't this man have lived?_

_The expression on the Yondaime's face was enough to make the strongest man fall to his knees. He reached out a calloused hand hesitantly before placing it on his broad shoulder, meeting the simmering gaze of a boy whom had grown up too fast. _

"I'm so sorry," _he told his legacy in a whisper. _

His electric blue eyes had flashed open as unfathomable pain ripped through his stomach. He curled instinctively into a ball, gripping his stomach as bolts of hurt raced through his entire body. He could distinctly hear familiar screams of anguish in the back of his mind but the pain was taking over.

Then the agony disappeared. It was gone so fast Naruto had to stop and think about whether he hadn't imagined the whole thing. It had been so intense that he couldn't have even hoped to have thought it up in his wildest dreams.

As he stumbled towards the bathroom, he decided not to tell anyone about his brief stomach ache. He had just been released from hospital three days ago and had no intention of going back there again. Slapping cold water onto his face, he stared into the stained mirror above the sink contemplatively. A face so similar to the one in the painful memory past stared back.

Namikaze Minato. The name left a bitter taste in his mouth and at the same time filled him with unexpected warmth.

Did he hate the Yondaime for shoving a nine tailed demon inside of him without his consent? Yes. Did he hate Namikaze Minato? He wasn't quite sure about that yet. Their strange encounter the night of Sasuke's death not too long ago shook the now trembling foundations of his towering dislike for the Yondaime and he honestly had no idea what to think of the man any more.

A loud tap tapping at his glass window startled him and he walked out, tanned face dripping with water. He caught sight of a persistent messenger hawk and his golden brow furrowed. Pulling open the window, it flew inside his room and settled comfortably on his bed. It stared up at him inquisitively and he felt a surge of unbridled hatred contort his face as he resisted the temptation to destroy the bird. His cerulean eyes widened and he shook his head suddenly to clear it of whatever ill intentions it held for the hawk, wondering where on earth they had come from.

The hawk lifted one of its scaly legs and proffered it to him expectantly. Naruto leaned down and untied the thick string holding an even thicker scroll in place. Once he had finished removing the message, it darted away from Naruto and flew out of the window back towards the Hokage tower.

The weary bed sank under Naruto's weight as he sat down and stole a glance at the luminous alarm clock sitting harmlessly on his bedside. It was four in the morning. He inwardly cursed Tsunade, wondering if she sent people mission details freakishly early just to piss them off. As Naruto unravelled the mission scroll, his gaze roved over it quickly.

It was a C class mission to help escort a young woman to Suna. She was a citizen from Tea and wouldn't be in Konoha for another day, giving time for Naruto to pack and prepare. He was relieved when he found that Sai, Sakura and Kakashi were his team mates but couldn't help but despair at how boring the mission was.

Staring out of the window at the rising sun that set the rooftops ablaze, he let a rare sigh wrack through his entire body. He wanted to see Sakura.

* * *

"Look…Tsunade, I'm sorry," Jiraiya's voice was reluctant and soft but rang through the office clear as a bell.

The Godaime glanced up at him inquisitively and put her calligraphy pen down. She mused that this was how their fights always ended, with Jiraiya apologizing for something he hadn't even started. A long time ago, it would have ended with the Sandaime insisting they talk things over or Orochimaru supplying what little common sense he deemed necessary. But the past was long gone and the present was dragging them along. There was no Sandaime and no Orochimaru this time around.

"Can you please...just let me handle Naruto?" he asked.

She sighed and leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest. Her hazel gaze was incriminating and Jiraiya met it determinedly.

"You know, I don't approve of what you're doing," she said after a long silence and he felt a slight smile split across his face at her approval.

He questioned, "Have you ever?"

She let a smile play at the corners of her lips but it didn't quite reach her solemn eyes. Letting out a breezy sigh, she stood up and walked to the window, staring at the impressive Hokage monument. Her stone likeness held the same stoic expression that had quickly forced away the frail attempt at happiness on her own face. Footsteps scuffed against the floor, deliberately loud so she would hear the white haired hermit approaching her.

"I still wish it could have ended differently," his voice was tentative and reluctant. His gaze was fixed upon the ever youthful sculpture of the Yondaime's profile.

"Minato chose to sacrifice himself for Konoha. If it wasn't for him we'd all be dead," she answered a bit more harshly than intended.

He remained unaffected by her words and shook his head, explaining, "I'm not talking about Minato. I'm talking about Orochimaru."

He watched her through his peripheral vision, waiting for her reaction. Her eyes waved for a moment, taken aback by the unexpected explanation. An uncomfortable silence stretched between them as she struggled to absorb the meaning behind his words. It was as if she had only remembered that Orochimaru had once been a person they entrusted with their life and they had once thought they knew.

Jiraiya let out a short humourless laugh. Disbelief tinged the edges of his voice as he inquired, "You can't have forgotten that we used to be a team, right? I'd always mess around or laze about, then you'd get mad at me and we'd get into a big fight. Sarutobi-sensei was a great teacher though and Orochimaru-"

"I know," her voice was quiet but cut through his words like a knife.

How long had it been since she had last thought of him last? The pale faced traitor was constantly pushed to the back of her mind because some things were too painful to remember. She supposed Jiraiya was right that she always ran away when she didn't want to face the truth. She had even buried away their own glory days, times when all they had to worry about were mission deadlines and the jounin exams and the most paperwork needed was a three page mission report. It was as if she had cut herself off from every memory that linked to what they once had been and it was only now that Jiraiya dug them up again.

_The amber eyed boy had always been aware of her attraction to him but never acted upon it, retaining the quiet, mysterious persona that had initially drawn her to him. An A rank mission gone wrong and a breaking suspension bridge was ironically the thing that brought them together. As the strings had snapped and the rotting wood beneath her had given way, she had seen her life flash before her eyes and plummet sixty feet below her into the rushing river rapids. _

_A sheer layer of sweat had plastered his onyx hair to his pale face as he gripped her hand tightly. He was slipping too and she could hear the planks creaking beneath him. She would drag him down too if she fell and that was the last thing she wanted for him._

Let me go, _she had screamed, _you need to continue with the mission

_He had grit his teeth, the first time she had ever seen some semblance of an expression on his usually indifferent face. _Shut up Tsunade, we're getting out of this together

_And he had pulled, his muscles bulging and his neck straining with the effort it took. She had tried to let go of his hand but his slender fingers had threaded through hers like cross stitches to hold them both together. _

"Do you think we ever meant anything to him at all?" her voice was nearly inaudible but he listened.

The pain in her strained whisper made his heart clench. A village forced responsibility upon its Kage but forgot that their Kage was human and had human needs too. He wondered when was the last time she had ever talked to anyone other than him about basic things like village gossip and even more importantly, Dan or the collapse of their team.

"If we had meant nothing to Orochimaru, we wouldn't be alive. He had so many chances to kill us but he never took them," he answered simply.

He saw her hand twitch, as if she had entertained the idea of reaching for his hand but thought better of it. His large calloused hand touched her shoulder tentatively before sliding down her arm, down her wrist, until he threaded his thick fingers through her dainty ones like cross stitches to hold two broken hearts together.

* * *

As Naruto shut his door behind him, pain ripped through his stomach once again. He gasped with the intensity of it and leaned against the wood for support, shutting his eyes as he waited it out. A thousand poisoned swords seemed to stab into his stomach repeatedly to the point where he could see white spots dancing before his eyes. It wasn't long before he fell unconscious, he thought.

"Hey, Naruto!" a familiar voice called his name.

He grit his teeth, wondering at Sakura's impeccable timing. Maybe someone had planned out his entire life to cause him absolute misery. Shaking his head free of those pessimistic thoughts, he realized that not all of it had been awful. There had been Team 7, and the Rookie 9 and Sakura…

A small petite hand grasped his shoulder and electricity raced through his entire body, filling him with warmth. A renewed wave of pain quickly took the place of the warmth and he gasped, his face sweating.

"Sakura-chan, my stomach hurts," he confessed in a husky voice and her brow furrowed.

"Come on, let's get back to your flat," she told him, slinging one of his arms over her shoulder.

She fished around in his large pocket for his keys and fitted them into the keyhole. It turned with a screechy grating sound that made her wince and she nudged the heavy wooden door open with her foot. She would have led him to his couch but he didn't have one. Eventually, they managed to get to the bed in the corner of his room and he lay on it weakly. As she surrounded his throbbing stomach with her cool, silky chakra Naruto had found himself unconsciously longing for these past few days, she chewed on her lip worriedly.

"Naruto, I'm taking you to the hospital," she decided aloud.

He suddenly gripped her wrist very tightly, his eyes unfocussed with pain but dead serious. In a tone that brooked no argument, he said sharply, "No, you can't tell anyone about this."

"You've been sick so frequently and it's really starting to worry me. I can't figure out what's wrong with you and I think you should be watched," she explained.

He shook his head and told her, "I don't want to go back to the hospital anymore, Sakura. It reminds me too much of…"

His sentence was left hanging in the tense air but it was clear how it finished. _The mission to retrieve Sasuke. _Sakura averted her jade gaze.

"Can't you…can't you look after me here? You're one of the best medics easy and you can heal something stupid like this," he mumbled weakly and she sighed, running a hand through her pastel hair.

She hesitated before answering, "If I'm found out, Tsunade-sama is going to kill me," Naruto's lips twitched upwards in a slight humourless smile, "but you're absolutely sure you don't need to go to hospital?"

"Yeah, they've been happening over the last few nights. I must have eaten something bad," he mused.

Silence fell between the two of them and Naruto found himself absentmindedly staring at Sakura, the object of his unrequited love. She looked so beautiful sitting there with the morning casting light upon her sharp, womanly features that never failed to snag an unsuspecting man's attentions effortlessly. A small, contemplative smile pulled at the corners of his lips as he realized he liked her there, on his bed, in his room, with him. It was a foolish, fleeting notion but one that left a deep imprint on his mind.

His hand lifted to her face and he brushed the rough pads of his fingertips against her soft, full lips, deep in thought. He was treading dangerous waters but for Sakura, he was willing to do anything. His fingers ghosted past her lips to rest on her flawless cheek and he slowly drew his hand away from her face again, avoiding her eyes in shame.

Perhaps he was moving too fast- no, he _knew _he was moving too fast. Their best friend and the man she had loved faithfully for so many years had just died. There was no way she would-

A pair of wispy eyelashes fluttered shut against his scarred cheeks and she was suddenly too close. It was too late though because her lips, like the sweetest poison, had already pressed against his and he knew in a heartbeat that he would have sold his soul to the devil if only to experience another moment like this.

She pulled away first, her smouldering gaze captivating his surprisingly calm and collected one. Naruto's mind whirred with possibilities. One of the more bitter ones sprang to mind, the one in which she didn't love him; she just needed comfort and who better to give it to her than him? He could have been a replacement for the Sasuke who had never been.

But as the colour began to rise to her face and she looked away in endearing embarrassment, he found himself wanting to believe that she really loved him.

* * *

"_You can feel it, can't you?"_ the voice reverberated in the endless pale yellow.

It was strange but Naruto had somehow been expecting endless white. But white was unwelcoming and sterile and detached, whereas pale yellow was like dawn's warm golden glow. It set him at ease, even though the person whom had spoken was not facing Naruto. Instead, his white clad back was and when he eventually took time to stop to read the kanji embroidered tirelessly into it, he realized the true identity of the man as the character for four stared back at him.

"_You can feel your seal breaking. It won't be long before it breaks completely and the Kyuubi destroys Konoha."_ A flash of steely blue and then the man's eyes closed again. He looked tired and burdened, as if the world had thrust its responsibility onto his already weakened shoulders again.

Did Naruto bother asking why the Yondaime was suddenly roaming the chambers of his subconscious as he pleased? When it came right down to it, he guessed he didn't really care. His body and mind had never really been his to begin with and what was another strange inhabitant going to hurt?

Naruto asked, "What can I do to stop it from breaking?"

"_Nothing,"_ the bitter word that slipped from the Yondaime's mouth was not the one Naruto had been hoping for.

"What are you talking about? There has to be something, you made this seal, can't I just reseal the Kyuubi again?" he pressed the former Hokage for answers.

Minato turned around, his coat flaring around him as he did so, and Naruto wondered if the man had been as impressive when he was still alive. He explained, _"It's impossible for you to reseal the Kyuubi into yourself. You would have to seal it into another person using your own life as payment and I don't believe you would want to put anyone through the same pain I put you through." _

Naruto's cerulean gaze flickered to the floor for a moment, thousands of memories washing over him like a tsunami and all of loneliness and hatred. He could never wish that pain upon anyone else, even if they willingly volunteered and at the same time he had to protect Konoha. But what else could he do…?

A darker idea presented itself to the demon container, "If I killed myself-"

"_**No.**__"_ His voice could cut through diamonds and his eyes were flash of blue steel that would have chilled a lesser man's heart.

However, Naruto persisted, "What would happen though?"

A stony silence followed his words and Minato's reluctant answer followed eventually, _"The Kyuubi would die along with you. However, the chakra it had would be released in one massive explosion, big enough to wipe out Konoha."_

"If I was in a place where there was nobody around-" Naruto suggested but as the Yondaime's eyes flashed dangerously and his stance tightened, he fell silent.

A large, warm hand rested on Naruto's shoulder and cerulean met cerulean. There it was again, Naruto realized, that same look of unguarded and boundless parental love. Somehow he had been pulled into its mesmerizing spell and the emotion in the expression overwhelmed him, rendering him speechless.

"_That is our absolute last resort. We still have time to come up with another plan that won't involve your death," _he told him firmly.

Naruto averted his gaze from Minato's suddenly too piercing one. He fixed his eyes on the flaming edge of a Hokage's long white trench coat. He was having to remind himself every time he spoke with Minato that this man was the Yondaime Hokage and not another regular person. It was so easy to forget when they were together.

"_Naruto," _he called his name.

His head snapped upwards to meet the warmer blue eyes of the former Hokage. There was no honorific at the end of Naruto's name and he was speaking to Naruto as though he had known him his entire life. Most people would have been offended by such a lack of respect but for some twisted unexplainable reason Naruto found himself pleased.

"_I need you to promise me you won't kill yourself," _he said quietly.

The effect this man had on Naruto was monstrously changing. When had anyone so blatantly been concerned for Naruto, not just some ninja who needed medical assistance? Naruto felt his throat clench and his eyes burned unexpectedly. He began to blink rapidly and glanced upwards for a moment, trying to compose himself.

"Why do you care so much?" a question blurted from his chapped lips before he could help himself.

Surprise flitted across the smooth, soft features of the Yondaime's face. The shaggy golden mane swayed slightly in a nonexistent wind and the colour of his irises deepened to an infinite, calming ocean blue. Even though they were nearly the same height, Minato made Naruto feel as though he were three heads shorter. He ruffled Naruto's hair and smiled at him fondly.

"_You're my most precious person, Naruto." _

They were words Naruto had waited for his entire life. It suddenly became too hard to look at Minato and he wouldn't have been able to see him anyways because his vision was so blurry. He fought to keep from blinking but the world bled away before he could answer Minato's closing words.

* * *

_Click. Click. Click._

The silver haired man snapped his silver lighter open and shut absentmindedly, staring up at the dirty white ceiling from his position on the threadbare dark green sofa. His mismatched eyes followed the discoloured mark where his neighbours had pleasantly forgotten to turn off their tap and had flooded their entire house.

_Click. Click. Click._

Boredom had always proved a dangerous state of mind for the copy-nin. It made way for painful memories and unnecessary brooding, however it was a state not easily broken. The huge collection of books in the corner of his room were suddenly too far away and his body was too tired to even try to sate his idleness.

_How did Minato-sensei cope when Obito died?_ He wondered. The man had always known what to say and what to do but Kakashi couldn't remember exactly what Minato had done. He had been too overcome by his own grief to notice anybody else's. He was sure Minato must have suffered but could never remember him grieving in front of them.

_Click._

He stared at the flickering flame his lighter produced as if he would find an answer in its depths. Not for the first time, he found himself wishing his teacher was still alive because he still subconsciously believed that he had all the answers. Snapping the lighter shut, he let out a long sigh and closed his eyes. His hand reached out blindly to the small wooden coffee somewhere to his left and when his fingers brushed against a flimsy plastic covered box, he grabbed it.

An onyx eye opened lazily as he opened the box of cigarettes and cursed inwardly as he realized he only had one more. Despite his complaining, he pulled the cigarette out and slipped it between his lips. The lighter clicked as he lit up and closed his eyes, letting the artificial calm spread throughout his body. The box dropped from his hand and onto the faded wooden floor.

"Wonder what Rin would say," he murmured to himself, letting out a soft, humourless laugh.

Her image sprung to mind and he swore he could see her dragging him to his feet and stomping on his cigarette. His imagination pulled at the corners of his lips but they fell slack once reality stepped in brief moments afterwards. He supposed he should pack for the mission he was going on with the other three tomorrow but they were probably expecting him to be late anyways.

As rare sleep persuaded him into its tantalizing embrace, he came to the conclusion that they wouldn't mind if he was a little late.

* * *

He came not one, not two, but three hours late.

Sakura was desperately trying to console their outraged client and managed to send Kakashi a death glare out of the corner of her eye. Sai harrumphed and hitched the straps of his backpack higher up his shoulders, ignoring the copy-nin as he took his place leisurely beside the artist. Naruto was uncharacteristically quiet and Kakashi came to the conclusion that he was probably still feeling ill.

"Don't even _think _about talking to her," Sakura hissed as he passed her, taking his position at the head of the group.

Kakashi angled his head ever so slightly to catch a better look at the person they were escorting. She appeared to be a proud, haughty woman with an arrogant tilt to her chin that made it seem as though she constantly looked down on everybody. He found himself quickly losing interest, spoiled overconfident women had never really appealed to him. The weary pack horse in front of Naruto was weighed down with heavy bags of nonsensical women things he presumed and he came to the conclusion that the woman was only walking with them because there was no room for her to ride on the horse.

"I think you broke your record, Hatake-san," Sai commented to him with one of his infamous smiles.

Kakashi shook his head and answered, "I've had worse."

"I don't like her," the artist stated bluntly and the copy-nin glanced back at the woman subtly to see if she could hear what they were talking about. She seemed too caught up in her own world and he let out an inward sigh of relief. The last thing they needed was a screaming brat.

Although Kakashi was inclined to agree, he asked Sai, "Has anybody ever told you that you're a real dick sometimes?"

"Well, at least I have a dick unlike the idiot somewhere back there," Sai said, completely unaffected by the copy-nin's words.

"Sai, that has nothing to do with what we're talking about."

Said artist shrugged indifferently.

Naruto was silent, waiting for Sakura to initiate something. He was really just waiting for her to take the lead, if she acted as though nothing had happened last night and they hadn't kissed then he would play along. However, he wasn't sure what he'd do if it was the other way around…

"Are you going to go see Gaara?" she ventured in an attempt to break the uncomfortable atmosphere.

He grinned at her a bit too brightly and answered, "'Course! He loves having me around."

"Didn't he throw you out of Suna last time?" Sakura smirked at him and his expression faltered slightly.

And so the conversation continued playfully in this manner, bordering on the teetering edge of outright flirting. It didn't escape Kakashi's notice and he was glad that Sakura was happier than he had seen her in a while.

Four hours later, their charge had demanded they stop for a rest and they had grudgingly agreed. Escorting civilians around could be quite annoying in terms of their physical limitations and it irked Sai that they had to wait on this woman's every want and need. Had Kakashi not been there to keep him in check, he probably would have killed the woman and run back to Konoha; owing it to some tragic mishap.

There was a sudden rustling movement in the trees bordering the path that caused all Naruto and Sakura's heads to snap upwards simultaneously. Kakashi caught Sai's gaze out of the corner of his onyx eye and Sai nodded imperceptibly. There was no wind and the copy-nin couldn't pick up the dim chakra signals of an animals running throughout the treetops. It had to be a ninja cloaking his chakra and, as Sai's eyes scanned the area where the sound had come from he caught a glint of silver.

As Naruto's hand itched for his kunai holster, Kakashi uttered a quiet command to him, "Hold."

His calloused fingers dropped to his side limply. Sakura forced a smile and spoke with him, putting up the illusion that they were completely unaware of a possible ambush. Closing his onyx eye, Kakashi let his senses rove over the area; picking up the faintest chakra traces. Sai watched him silently.

"I heard Keiji is turning twelve in a few days," Kakashi commented loudly enough for Sakura and Naruto to hear.

The meaning behind his words was not lost on them. Twelve ninja waited to ambush them. Their charge was still blissfully unaware.

"Are we going to buy him a present?" Sakura ventured. _Are we going to attack them?_

Kakashi shrugged and answered easily, "I guess we'll see what everyone else is getting him first." _We'll let them attack first._

The woman stood from where she had been sitting on the side of the road for the past five minutes, brushing her hands against her violet skirt to rid herself of any dust. She began to walk away, the four ninja rushing after her. Kakashi and Sai took their place in front of her and Naruto pulled the horse along by its leather reins beside Sakura from their place at the back of the formation.

The seconds passed with the heavy weight of anticipation. Each step had them wondering if and when the surrounding ninja would attack. Naruto swallowed, his Adams apple bobbing up and down in wait impatiently. A bead of sweat charted a course down the side of Sai's alabaster face and-

_Clang! _

Sakura deflected the kunai with one of her senbon. The woman screamed, a shrill, annoying sound that set the horse on edge. It reared in fear and Naruto snapped at her, "Damn it woman, get your horse under control!"

She was too frightened to do anything but comply with his demands and snatched at the reins, forcing her horse back down. The four nin now surrounded her and the horse in a protective square. As a rain of kunai fell upon them, they deflected each and every projectile with practiced ease.

"Support!" Sai called out and instantly Kakashi appeared at his side.

Sai pulled out a clean scroll and his painting brush from behind his ear as Kakashi shielded him, deflecting twice as many kunai as he had before. He finished his painting within seconds and formed the correct hand signals, causing the paper of the scroll to glow ominously. From it leaped three large lions, tossing their manes in excitement. As one let a terrifying roar loose, the trees shuddered and leaves fell from their branches. He was aware that the horse was growing gradually more and more agitated behind him but the woman seemed to have it covered.

As the lions moved in a whir of inky black into the trees, baring sharp teeth and flexing razor like claws, Sai stood and quickly took his place at the woman's side. As his paintings took out five different nin, the number of remaining enemies dwindled considerably to the point that they could only pick out two more. Sakura's senbon whistled through the air and pierced one nin deep in the hollow of his neck. He fell to the ground, gurgling blood and clawing at his throat. He fell still seconds later.

The last ninja escaped in a hurry and, as Naruto threw a kunai to halt him, it pierced his shoulder. Naruto swore colourfully and as he threw another kunai, it thudded into the wood where the ninja would have been had he not disappeared with a jutsu.

As the woman made to run away, Kakashi's vice strong grip held her in place. She cried out in pain but was silenced immediately as his piercing onyx gaze victimized her.

"Why don't you start at the beginning and tell us why you lied about the mission rank to Konoha?" his voice was polite but his gaze was colder than the Antarctic.

* * *

**Next Chapter Preview: Five Tails**

All she could think and feel was Naruto and an unspeakable fear that she was going to lose him. She couldn't lose him, he was hers and he had always been there, he was invincible and he was **Naruto**. Time seemed to slow as the ninja emerged from the sand and suddenly Sakura was moving, moving impossibly fast because he was in danger, because he could _die_-

* * *

**Just in case you were wondering...**

_Edo Tensei?_  
This chapter is called Edo Tensei because Edo Tensei is the name of the jutsu Orochimaru uses to bring the dead Hokages back to life during the chuunin exams when he fights the Sandaime. If you didn't figure it out, Orochimaru/Sasuke used edo tensei to bring the Yondaime back to life to fight against Naruto. But because Sasuke/Orochimaru died and didn't complete the jutsu, the Yondaime sort of died...again.

_Was that a hint at orotsu?  
_Wow, you got me. It's a relationship that could possibly have happened. What happened in Jiraiya's team was way too similar to Team 7 that the idea of Tsunade harbouring an unrequited stupid love for an asshole wasn't entirely unbelievable.

_So the Yondaime saved Naruto earlier...  
_Yeah. It's a bit hard to explain but Minato explains it all with his wonderful wisdom later on.

_Kakashi's really depressing.  
_Isn't he? He gets a little less sad later on. The close relationship he and Sai have sort of happened on its own; I just sort of figured that if Sakura and Naruto were always hanging out then naturally Sai and Kakashi would stick together.

_What was the Keiji code?  
_I sort of figured that ninjas would speak in code. Keiji is the name of Asuma's kid (I think, please don't smite me if I'm wrong) and I couldn't really think of any other code. If this story wasn't so serious, I'd have them speaking in pig latin. It'd make my life much asiereay. Uh oh, I think I forgot how to speak pig latin.

_What do you mean the lady lied about the mission rank?  
_I'm not sure how many of you remember the wave arc (episode 10-14ish), but Tazuna lied to Team 7 about the mission rank to get a cheaper price since the higher missions were supposedly much more expensive. This evil woman did the same thing.

**Selandora (the sickeningly emotional undeniably sexy one would like to know what you guys think about Everything.)**


	5. Chapter 4 : Five Tails

**Chapter 4: Five Tails**

The noisy sounds of a zipper being pulled and heavy footfalls awoke Sakura. She turned slowly onto her side, opening her eyes, and saw a familiar blonde figure stumble painfully towards a gnarled oak tree. An unsettling aura fell upon the area, making Sakura shiver involuntarily, and she quietly slipped out of her sleeping bag.

Naruto dry heaved, a hand pressed against the tree trunk for support as his seal wreaked havoc on the rest of his body. It brought him to his knees and his expression contorted in agony as his stomach twisted like a serpent with twice the venom. When Sakura placed an inquisitive hand on his broad shoulder, he jumped as though a gun had been fired. When he realized it was her, he absentmindedly leaned his head back. It rested against her shoulder sloppily and he squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for the pain subside.

"Is it your stomach again?" she asked him and he managed a small, hoarse sound of confirmation in the back of his throat.

She tried to ignore the fact that her heartbeat had suddenly accelerated to the point that, had it been a car, she would probably have been in prison for life. Lowering herself to the ground, the blonde repositioned his head so that it rested in the crook of her neck. He had already opened his jacket and Sakura's fingertips pressed gently against the hard muscle of his abdomen.

A gasp escaped her mouth as she found he had a massive stomach infection that must have been absolute agony. Her chakra quickly seeped through his skin in an attempt to kill the infection but she realized that it would be too tiring for her if she tried to get rid of it all at once.

"Naruto, you've got a really bad stomach infection. It must be all that instant ramen you eat," she told him darkly.

"Eh, don't go insulting ramen," he rasped out indignantly.

She simply shook her head with a slight smile. At least he didn't have cancer or a terminal illness, she thought. The infection would eventually come to pass. As she soothed the pain, Naruto let out a breathy sigh of relief.

Silence stretched over the area and she found herself thinking back to their impromptu kiss a couple of days ago. Her face tinged pink and she became infinitely grateful that it was too dark for either of them to discern colours very well.

"Sakura?" the sound of his voice dragged her back to the reluctant world of the present and she blinked in surprise, glancing down at him.

"Yeah?" she acknowledged him and his eyelids slowly lifted, revealing an intense gaze.

"You know…two nights ago…" he trailed off.

Her head was suddenly spinning and she found herself inwardly cringing. She had been hoping to avoid a confrontation about the kiss but if Naruto wanted to talk about it, they were going to talk about it. He deserved an explanation, though she wasn't really sure if she had one ready.

His question wasn't the one she had been expecting, "Were you thinking of Sasuke?"

Thinking of Sasuke? After the initial shock, she felt anger begin to cloud her vision and wondered where the hell he had come up with a stupid idea like that. As the Sharingan wielder's face flashed in her mind, she felt another constricting lump form in the back of her throat.

"What do you mean thinking of Sasuke?" she asked, her voice weaker than she had intended.

He hesitated before rephrasing his question, "Was I the…replacement for Sasuke?"

"No!" she burst out before she could help herself.

He seemed as though he was awaiting an explanation and suddenly she was babbling, "I didn't like Sasuke, no, I mean I didn't like Sasuke in that way but I would never be so awful to use you as a replacement for him even if I did like him because that would mean and low and when we kiss-"

She came to an abrupt halt. Saying that they had kissed seemed to finalize everything and it was an even bigger shock to her. She couldn't bring herself to say anymore and turned bright red, looking away from the dumbstruck blonde. This was so awkward! She might as well have just told him that she loved him straight out, she was such an idiot!

Silence fell over them. Naruto took time to digest this new, startling piece of information and as the intense relief subsided, a sly grin stretched across his face.

"So…does this mean you like me?" he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

She began to stutter, "I-I-"

"It must be my manly charm. I'm irresistible, you were bound to fall for me sometime," he said with a smirk.

In an embarrassed huff, she tried to shove him off of her but he pressed harder against her front. She snapped at him hurriedly, "Naruto, only an idiot would fall for an idiot like you."

"Then it looks like we can be idiots together, huh?" he teased, his wide smile lighting up his eyes.

She began in a huff, "Shut up, if I fell for a guy he would be more charming, better looking, smarter-"

However, she was silenced by a pair of chapped lips.

To present a balanced argument, one must show both the negatives and the positives to combat against them. In her mind, she inwardly went through all the points she had summed up in her head.

She began with the negatives. His lips were too dry, he was pressing too hard, the position they were in made her neck hurt, he could have been spreading whatever the hell was in his stomach and Sai and Kakashi could wake up any minute.

Then came the positives.

He was kissing her.

The positives far outweighed the negatives.

* * *

"_Naruto."_

His cerulean eyes flashed open instinctively and he propped himself up on one elbow. He was lying down and for a moment, confusion hazed over him before he realized that he was in the pale yellow place somewhere in the depths of his seal. At least he thought it was somewhere in the depths of his seal…

"Where the fuck are we anyways?" he asked, pushing himself up into a sitting position.

Suddenly, Naruto became very self conscious of his little slip. Somehow, he felt the Yondaime would ridicule him for his language or something but on the contrary, a small amused smile stretched across Minato's face. The Fourth walked towards him and sat down, bending his knees. Atop his knees he rested his elbows languidly, leaning forwards slightly, and Naruto let his eyes rove over the strange looking place. He couldn't call it a room, there were no corners and no doors, no walls and no ways out. It was just endless colour.

"_This is the other side of the seal, away from the Kyuubi," _he explained matter of factly.

Naruto put his hands behind him and pressed most of his weight on his palms. He lazily bent a knee and questioned in surprise, "I thought the tunnels lead to Kyuubi?"

"_Well, have you gone the other way before?" _Minato inquired with a smile.

Naruto found himself struck speechless. He had been in the seal countless times before and had never bothered to go anywhere but the Kyuubi's cell. The knowledge that he had just done something extremely stupid washed over him and he began to flush in embarrassment, avoiding Minato's teasing gaze. He just sort of presumed that the seal was only for Kyuubi.

"_Congratulations by the way," _the man beside him commented offhandedly.

He now had no idea what the Fourth was on about. "Huh?"

"_Sakura," _Minato smirked the telling smirk of the all knowing.

"H-How the hell do you know about that?!" Naruto blurted out indignantly, feeling as though his privacy had been horribly invaded.

"_Your emotions affect the seal a lot and depending on how strong a feeling is, the seal will change drastically. If there's a really big change, then sometimes images of what you're thinking about crop up and lately Sakura's face has been all over the place," _he explained.

"Oh. So that means…" Naruto trailed off. He had been about to say that for seventeen years, Minato had seen all of his greatest emotions. Then he realized that Minato had been in his seal for seventeen fucking years.

"Wait, why haven't you ever come out before? Why is it only now?" Naruto asked warily, his brow creasing in suspicion.

"_This side of the seal used to be locked so I couldn't get out. It could only be opened either by an outside force or by you, but since you never wandered down this way it stayed locked," _he began another tiresome explanation.

Naruto was still confused. He pressed Minato for answers, "Wait, but I never came down this way so how come it's suddenly open?"

"_When I met you that day when the Otokage used his Edo Tensei jutsu, the seal was forced open so that my soul could be called out for the jutsu," _he answered.

Naruto flinched involuntarily at the painful memory. He looked away guiltily and Minato watched him indifferently. He said nothing, he simply let Naruto get over it, and Naruto found himself grateful that Minato had not pressed the matter any further than he had needed to. Suddenly, overwhelming pain washed over Naruto's stomach and he contracted violently, gasping for breath.

Two warm hands steadied his swaying shoulders and his heavy head sagged forwards until his forehead came into contact with a thick green vest. He shut his hazy blue eyes, trying to control his breathing. The man in front of him stiffened in surprise at the contact before instantaneously relaxing a moment later. He placed a hand atop Naruto's messy blonde mop of hair and suddenly, it felt as though nothing could harm Naruto.

Indescribable calm and security washed over the boy who had always been a pillar of strength for others, but had never himself had any steady foundations. It felt as though even if the world was falling down around them, as long as he was with Minato he would be fine. This man was slowly building up the forgotten foundations without him even realizing it and the pain subsided until it was nothing but a dull memory.

"Sakura says I've got a pretty bad stomach infection," Naruto explained and lifted his head from Minato's chest.

"_The Kyuubi's chakra is causing it. It's leaking out of the seal and damaging your stomach walls. As the seal grows closer to breaking point, the pain will get more intense so you might want to hang around Sakura a bit more. Not that you'd mind, would you?" _Minato couldn't help but throw the last sentence in for good measure.

It was worth it because Naruto went a vivid crimson red that made Minato laugh, a warm rich sound that filled the emptiness with joy. The seventeen year old looked away indignantly, muttering an incoherent, rude argument that probably made no sense anyways.

The laughter died down and Naruto was torn between leaning his head against Minato's shoulder or if that would be was crossing a line that he wasn't meant to. He was too comfortable around this man and couldn't help but feel that if he did overstep the line even the slightest, Minato would disappear and Naruto would never see him again. For a fleeting moment, he found that Minato disappearing scared him much more than the breaking seal.

"_You know…" _Minato began awkwardly and Naruto glanced at him inquisitively.

"_You can always come here whenever you want. The door's always open," _he continued.

Suddenly, a door that Naruto had sworn he couldn't have missed caught his eye. It was a simple wooden door with a tarnished brass doorknob; a modest door, he thought, for one that led to a place the Hokage lived in. Minato waited for an answer, looking awfully uncomfortable and hesitant.

Eventually, Naruto felt a genuine smile pull at the corners of his lips.

"Yeah, sure."

* * *

They were moving much faster than Sakura would have liked, but it was understandable with the dangerous situation they were currently in. 

The woman had cracked and spilled her guts out about everything under Kakashi's intense gaze. He was much too talented at interrogation to have never done it before and Sakura mused that maybe ANBU prepared a ninja for every situation. It turned out she was the daughter of a multimillionaire who had employed rogue nin to do his dirty work for him, however he had failed to pay them. This had angered them and they had decided to kidnap or maim his daughter as justified payment. Her father was an exceptionally shrewd businessman and hadn't wanted to pay an insanely high price for an A rank mission, resulting with his huge bluff.

As a tough shoulder nudged her, she glanced upwards to meet a worried cerulean gaze.

"Are you alright? You were spacing out for a minute there," he asked her.

Her muscles ached and she was suffering from severe chakra depletion. The little chakra that had been restored after having used it all up a few days prior had been drained out of her because she had been healing Naruto so frequently. She knew that if she told Naruto the truth, he would insist they stop and rest or worry about her for the rest of the trip. They had a job to do and he didn't need any distractions.

She lied with a weak smile, "I'm fine. I'm just a little bit tired."

He caught her hand momentarily in his own and squeezed her fingers in a brief show of affection. She was unable to react, shocked by the blatancy of the action, and as his hand fell away from hers her face began to flush. An overwhelming happiness washed over her and her mind was doused in fleeting euphoria.

They were roughly an hour's walk away from Suna and, at this moment in time, were travelling through a rugged pass in between two towering craggy rock walls. It was considerably darker and the lack of light set an ominous feel to the place. It was so silent that Sakura could hear her own heartbeat and each individual grain of sand beneath her foot crunching against countless others. If she looked long enough, the shadows seemed to morph into demons and reach for her with smoky fingers. She shivered inwardly.

She could hear the nin behind them, around them, and she knew that her other three team mates were aware. It was another one of the rogue nin's painful waiting games that had her palms sweating and throat clenching as she swallowed in anxiety. No matter how many times she experienced it, the wait never seemed to get easier.

She started as a rock clattered down the wall to the side of her, narrowly missing Sai's head by a hairbreadth. Naruto took her hand again quickly, hiding it behind their backs subtly, and made slow, calming circles with his thumb on its back. Sai looked as though he was itching for a kunai whereas Kakashi was walking along in his enviable fashion, indifferent and unconcerned. The world could fall down around him and he'd still look like he was going out to buy some bread.

A deathly silence followed that set even their charge on edge. The impossibly high walls seemed to be closing in on them the harder Sakura looked so she kept her eyes fixed on the path in front of them. She tried to focus on the sand while at the same time keeping her senses alert as she forced her anxiety away.

The sand crunched beneath her feet. A calloused thumb traced the back of her hand. Kakashi's eyes flickered upwards for the briefest of moments. The sand crunched beneath her feet. A calloused thumb traced the back of her hand. A painter's hand reached into a kunai pouch. The sand crunched beneath her feet. A calloused thumb traced the back of her hand. The walls were closing in on them.

The sand crunched beneath her feet. A calloused thumb traced the back of her hand and her breathing began to quicken until she could hear each ragged breath in her own ears, until she began to see white spots before her, until her heart pounded like a gong in her ears, until, until, _until-_

Kunai crashed and rocks began tumbling from the tops of the walls like hail upon their heads. In the span of three seconds, a glowing green dome shield of chakra formed over their heads from Sakura's fingertips. Stones clattered against it uselessly, littering the soft sand like rubbish, and when the barrage came to pass the shield disappeared.

Sai had already finished painting and a gigantic dragon soared overhead, thrashing wildly with razor sharp jaws outstretched. There must have been twenty nin at the least and with their current state of fatigue Team Kakashi would be hard pressed to come out of this fight the victors. Their enemies leapt from the walls and landed on the sand in a sloppy circle that forced the Konoha nin into a tight protective formation.

Sai's dragon roared wildly as it crunched into a man's upper torso and Naruto winced as he heard each individual bone break painfully. It tossed the now paralyzed nin into the wall as if it were kicking off its shoes after a long day at work and when he fell to the ground, he never got back up again. Kakashi's fingers began to form seals at a speed that would have made Uchiha Itachi envious and the sand beneath them began to ripple like water. All of a sudden, sand rose like gigantic fingers and dragged three men underneath the ground. They didn't come back up.

As a nin drew too close to Naruto and their charge, the blonde boy whipped out his kunai and slashed it across the nin's neck. Without even a glance, Naruto threw the kunai to his left and it thudded into another nin's stomach who dropped to the sand like a stone. Sakura was on her knees, feeding chakra into the sand and began to manipulate it. When four nin attempted to rush her, it rose in a gigantic grainy wall and they ran into it before they could stop themselves. It hardened, reinforced by chakra, and the struggling shapes in the sand wall came to a halt shortly afterwards.

Sai and Sakura exchanged a look of understanding and he began to form hand seals. It was a long, complex string of seals and from her fingertips Sakura produced another chakra shield big enough to protect the five of them and a horse. The dragon began to morph and split into many different sections, one for each of the remaining nin. The remains of the dragon now resembled smoky black tendrils and they raced towards their respective targets. Sakura squeezed her eyes shut as the sound of screaming and rapid explosions began to deafen her.

A deathly silence fell over the area and as her chakra shield disappeared with a soft ping, the thick smoke eventually cleared. Gigantic scorch marks covered the rocky walls of the pass and something black and shivering caught her attention. It was two of Sai's art explosives but how could that be if every explosive had found its target…?

Then she realized that two ninja were still alive. The ground beneath Naruto's feet had begun tremble but he had yet to notice. A hand holding a kunai burst from the ground and suddenly, her mind went absolutely blank.

All she could think and feel was Naruto and an unspeakable fear that she was going to lose him. She couldn't lose him, he was hers and he had always been there, he was invincible and he was **Naruto**. Time seemed to slow as the ninja emerged from the sand and suddenly Sakura was moving, moving impossibly fast because he was in danger, because he could _die_-

_Thud thud. Thud thud._

Her blood was pounding in her ears. She was in somebody's arms and was trying hard to catch her breath. Kakashi's chidori ripped into the chest of the man who had been going to kill Naruto. She glanced down at her chest and was suddenly too tired to feel surprised at the black steel protruding from it. She saw two tanned arms lock around her waist and she was pulled up to meet a pair of cerulean eyes. She had never been happier to see that colour.

_Thud thud. Thud._

He was alive? That was good. She almost laughed. Relief was spreading through her like a painkiller and it drowned out the pain. She had reached him in time! She smiled blearily at him and suddenly he was angry, yelling words she could no longer hear because the blood was pounding in her ears and it was so _loud_. Her eyes had been captivated by the movement of his lips and she watched them open and close, amazed at such a tiny phenomenon.

_Thud. Thud._

The blood pounded in her ears, louder and louder, until she thought she was going to go deaf but struggled to keep her reluctant eyes open. Her hand rose with so much more effort than it should have taken and brushed the whiskers on the side of his face absentmindedly. She watched in fascination as it fell limply to her side and suddenly she was so tired…so…

_Thud._

As her vision faded to black, Naruto's skin burned like fire against her own and an evil chakra filled the air. She tried to keep her eyes open, tried to see what was happening but the blood was pounding in her ears and she was tired, so exhausted-

* * *

**Next Chapter Preview: Leaf Green**

Then suddenly, he no longer had any chakra.

They were the most terrifying moments of his entire life. Something ominous, something dark chilled his blood and the fine hairs on the back of his neck prickled. His breath caught in his throat and suddenly his heartbeat was too loud, beating, beating, _beating…_

He could still sense the Kyuubi's chakra in the depths of his seal but it was though he couldn't reach it anymore, as though…as though he had been cut off-

Minato's scream filled his head, "_**NO!"**_

_**

* * *

**_

**Just in case you were wondering...**

_Shouldn't Sakura be more guilty about going after Naruto? What the hell happened to Sasuke?!  
_Pfft, forget Sasuke. This is narusaku, if you want sasusaku go read Little Piece of Heaven (now that is a great story). This is going to be a short story so some things will be a little unrealistic.

_I thought Sai uses lions, not dragons?  
_Well, Sai can use anything he wants to as long as he has his ink and his scroll. Ahahaha, I just had a really nasty image in my head of Sai drawing a naked woman. Eww force it away, force it away me!

_Shouldn't Minato be helping Naruto out a bit more with the seal...?  
_Yeah, but don't forget that Minato is Naruto's freaking dad. Minato knows that Naruto is his son in this story but Naruto doesn't, so it's only logical Minato would love to spend some quality time with his son. The real seal fixing happens in the next chapter.

**Selandora (the sickeningly emotional undeniably sexy one madly in love with Hana Yori Dango at the moment)**


	6. Chapter 5 : Leaf Green

**Chapter 5: Leaf Green**

The hospital in Suna nowhere near as advanced as the one in Konoha. There were fewer ninja patrolling the linoleum tiled corridors and, from the little Naruto could gather, they hadn't even heard of chakra therapy. But a hospital was a hospital and he was more than glad they had managed to rush Sakura over in time, even though she hadn't woken up yet.

The hard seated chair was extremely uncomfortable and, considering he had been sitting in it for an entire day already, it was justified for him to say that he didn't want to sit anymore. However, he couldn't bear to leave Sakura to wake up alone because he knew that feeling and the pain it wrought. He was so tired though and hadn't slept a wink since the end of the mission.

He didn't know where Sai and Kakashi were, Kakashi would come in occasionally for a few minutes whereas Sai hadn't come in at all. Sai was never one to doubt a doctor's words and if he said Sakura was going to be fine, then she was going to be fine, and there was no point in wasting time. _Still_, Naruto thought, _it wouldn't have killed the bastard to come at least once_.

As Naruto found his head drooping forwards, he decided Sakura wouldn't mind too much if he slept for a little bit. She wasn't even awake anyways and he was only sleeping for a little while…

* * *

"_How is she?" _Minato asked, as concerned as Naruto was.

Naruto told him tiredly, "She'll be fine. She fainted from blood loss but we managed to get her to the hospital in time."

The Fourth nodded in understanding. His relieved expression morphed into a solemn one as he questioned quietly, _"How are you?"_

Shuffling uncomfortably, Naruto sat down on the pale yellow. After a moment's hesitation, he settled for something that resembled a shrug. Minato walked towards him until he came to a halt in front of the blue eyed boy and silence fell over the both of them, not for the first time.

Finally, a tortured whisper. "I was…I was so scared that I wouldn't be able to regain control. I could see myself moving but I couldn't-couldn't fucking stop it."

Minato sighed silently, sitting down in front of the Kyuubi container. Naruto avoided his searching gaze and fixed his eyes on the ground somewhere to his left, hugging his knees to his chest. It was one of the very few times he felt completely and hopelessly vulnerable.

"I almost _killed _Kakashi-sensei. What happens if I really kill somebody on my side next time? What happens if I really kill Kakashi-sensei, or Sai, or-or Sakura?" his husky voice trembled with fear.

As Naruto's voice trembled, the entire room began to shake. At first it was a gentle, unnoticeable shaking but as time progressed and Naruto's terrified thoughts overwhelmed him a violent quaking wracked the place. Somewhere, he could hear roaring, a nonsensical string of death and destruction. He was losing control.

Minato gripped Naruto by his shoulders and forced the boy to look at him. His cerulean orbs were clouded with fear and Minato's sapphire ones fought to contrast them with an unwavering calm. As the colour and endlessness of the Hokage's eyes drew Naruto in, he subconsciously focussed on the blue. The thoughts of utmost fear slowly subsided and the trembling room eventually came to a steady halt.

"_If you let your emotions rule you, the Kyuubi will take over. What happened after Sakura got hurt is what will happen if you lose control but on a much greater scale. You _must not _lose control," _his last words were spoken with steely conviction.

Naruto's eyes flicked away once again guiltily. He had come so close to the brink of releasing the Kyuubi and it was only because of this man he had been brought back. He couldn't allow another repeat of what had happened a few days prior. He couldn't.

"…okay," he managed.

Minato's hand reached out and sat atop Naruto's head. It was getting easier, Minato found, to treat this boy like the son he really was but he was hesitant; scared of driving the last link in his tarnished chain away. The urge to tell Naruto everything was overwhelming but at the same time, unfair to him.

His sapphire eyes blinked rapidly as he glanced up at the infinite ceiling blearily. It was times like these he really wished he had lived.

* * *

White. Detached, unwelcoming white.

Her jade eyes protested against the offending sight and her mind instantly filled in the blanks. That universal colour and sterile smell could only belong to one place she had spent more time than most anyone would have liked, the hospital. She closed her eyes again, trying to piece her memories back together.

_Hospital…mission…and there was sand and the missing nin…and then Naruto…__**Naruto!**_

She bolted upright. Something shifted on her blanket covered legs and she glanced down at the source. Her eyes suddenly filled with tears as she realized who it was and she began to shake his shoulder roughly.

Naruto moaned in protest and mumbled, "What is it?"

"Naruto, Naruto, _Naruto-" _

His name was the only thing she could say and she spoke it, over and over again, until the tears rolled down her face and she was gasping for breath amidst her sobs. Her hands reached for the sides of his face and traced every last detail to make sure he was really there, to make sure he was _alive_. She pressed her forehead to his and closed her eyes, biting down on her lip in an attempt to quell her crying.

Maybe it was impolite but he kept his deep blue eyes open, watching her. His voice was soft as he murmured questioningly, "Sakura?"

"I thought- I thought you were dead," her voice broke.

Something snapped in his chest. He pulled her close to him, arms wrapped securely around her waist. She pressed her ear against his chest, listening for a heartbeat and for the life she had tried so hard to save as his coarse fingers threaded through her short hair. She gripped at his shirt so tightly her nails left marks in it afterwards, as if, if she let go she would lose him forever. Her entire body trembled in his embrace and he kissed the top of her head, rocking back and forth.

"Sakura, _Sakura, _I'm here and I'm alive, alright? I'm not going to leave you," he told her in a soft whisper and she nodded helplessly, fingers scrabbling at his chest.

"Never," she gasped, her speech distorted by the loud ragged sobs she let out.

He kissed her forehead, feeling his own eyes begin to water. What would happen if he couldn't keep his promise? What would happen if he couldn't find a way to save the seal and he ended up dying? He couldn't leave Sakura on her own, _he could never do that, _but how could he not? His heart was bursting and hers was breaking; what would she do if she lost him?

That would never happen, he told himself firmly. "Never," he repeated her words, holding her all the more tightly to him.

Outside the room, a navy blue mask pulled taut as its owner smiled a small, melancholy smile. An onyx eye gazed up at the whitewashed ceiling and a calloused hand slid into a grey pocket as the jounin leaned against the pale wall. His broken arm ached dully against his chest in its sling. It seemed as though his time as Team 7's leading figure had finally ended and, the man admitted to himself reluctantly, he would miss the role. He supposed that perhaps he had long lost his role a long time ago, when a sun kissed boy returned from a three year long training session, but had never really opened his eyes to it.

As he pushed off of the wall and walked away from his two former students, he followed the green signs towards the hospital cafeteria. He came to the conclusion that he was in dire need of coffee. When the brown double doors came into sight, he pushed through them and walked over to the cashier. He ordered a coffee, spotting his third black haired team mate as he did so, and sat down in front of him.

Sai looked up at Kakashi, who was stirring his dark coffee with a thin plastic stick. The copy-nin meticulously tore open one of five sugar packets and poured the first one in, and then the second. Taking an experimental sip of his coffee, his lips curved downwards in dissatisfaction and he set to opening the third and the fourth, pouring them both in as well. He didn't even bat an eyelid as he tore the last one and instead of putting it in his coffee, poured it straight into his mouth.

Sai supposed he was feeling the emotion called shock.

The plastic stick swirled the dark coffee around, causing a tiny whirlpool in its murky brown centre. It was only after Kakashi had taken his second sip that he looked up at Sai.

"Have you been waiting in the cafeteria the whole time?" his question seemed tired and drawn out, as though he already knew the answer but was merely filling in the silence.

Glancing away, Sai said nothing. For a moment, a striking resemblance to a brooding, prideful young boy flashed in Kakashi's mind but it fled in the next instant. When the pale artist finally brought his eyes to a single onyx one, he met it unflinchingly. For the first time, the copy-nin began to believe that maybe this boy was capable of emotion. Raw pain and confusion filled his eyes but from the silence the Root member instigated, he came to the conclusion that Sai had no idea how to deal with his feelings.

"Yes," he answered. His usually velvety voice seemed rough and frayed at the edges, as if he hadn't used it in a long while. He cleared his throat quietly and, sighing inwardly, Kakashi drank from his coffee cup deeply.

"So…you mean to tell me that you've been waiting out here for three days straight?" he pressed.

With a hesitant nod, the copy-nin's question was answered. Kakashi told him, "Sakura's awake now. She's fine."

So what if he was lying a little bit? It wasn't as if Sai would know any better and, as the ANBU member's shoulders relaxed visibly, the copy-nin had a feeling he had actually said something right for once. Although the pale artist tried to force down his relief, it escaped through a small, genuine smile that he tried to hide with the palm of his hand.

"And...Naruto?" Sai ventured tentatively.

Angry, terrifying images flashed in their minds for the briefest of moments. Sai's dark brown eyes lingered on Kakashi broken arm for longer than was comfortable. Kakashi remained unfazed and took another long sip of coffee before answering.

"He's fine. He's in control now," He said seriously.

Somehow, it was getting harder for Sai to speak. He couldn't find the right words to say and it was frustrating him. He began awkwardly, "He…Naruto- there were five tails and he…"

The cup clinked as a rough hand set it down gently. Kakashi began, "Naruto's seal is breaking. I'm not sure if he knows yet, but I'll tell Jiraiya when we get back. He's the one who knows how to deal with these sort of things."

Sai nodded and swallowed with some difficulty. A long, pregnant silence filled the air and a pair of dark eyes burned with the insatiable need to speak. Being in ANBU however, meant that he was able to hold in his words for as long as possible.

"If you have something to say, say it," Kakashi stated in a monotone, stirring the coffee around again simply for the sake of doing so.

_Crimson eyes, burning like forest fires, crimson chakra, growing like five tails, and the blood splattered the ground like red rain-_

Again, Sai looked like he was struggling for words. He managed, "I thought he was a monster."

-_there was a ninja, rising from the sand like a god, but a flash of golden, a terrifying blur tore him down effortlessly-_

The silence that followed was different, tinged with shame and intrigue. Sai continued, "Naruto just…just ripped open that man and pulled out his heart and he wasn't even _dead _yet."

_-and the screaming, _the **screaming**, _but he never stopped and suddenly something was beating in his wet, red hand-_

Kakashi watched Sai, stirring his coffee absentmindedly. He thought he could see the painter's hands tremble for the fleetest of moments but when he looked again they were still.

_-bloodlust, twisting his face into something monstrous, and Sai swore he would never forget the way those eyes lit up with sadistic delight-_

Sai felt like he was going to be sick but held back his bile. His gaze flickered up to the ceiling and then back down again in frustration because he didn't know what he was feeling. He knew he never wanted to feel it again.

_-then it bled, with claws sinking into the flesh, and a silver saviour stepped in; only to be thrown against a wall like a rag doll-_

Kakashi's broken arm moved uncomfortably and jarred painfully as he knocked it against the table on accident. He hid his wince however, and drank from his coffee cup again.

_-then the screaming stopped. It sent shivers up his spine, paralyzing him to the ground with an emotion that blinded as the golden monster turned to him, and somehow, _somehow, _he knew he was next-_

What would Sakura have done if she had seen Naruto lose control? Kakashi mused. He knew she had seen it before but never on that scale. Thinking about it now, Kakashi was quite relieved she hadn't seen the Kyuubi take control for those few terrifying seconds.

_-but his bloodstained enemy fell, fell like lead to his knees and a hoarse sound burst from his mouth as he yelled for it to stop, for the torture to end. A flash of silver and a paper slip of rescue and as the blonde fell forwards in a faint, Sai swore he had never been more relieved._

"What would have happened if you couldn't get Naruto under control?" Sai asked.

The empty bottom of the coffee cup glared up at the both of them.

"I would have killed him."

* * *

The water was turning pink but he no longer cared. He was so dirty, so filthy, so _impure_ but no matter how many times he tried to wash the blood off it felt like it was never enough. He could feel it, trickling down his face and over his fingers, and he could taste it in his mouth; a sickening metallic taste that made him retch.

He began to rub at his skin harder with the ragged cloth as the water beat against his back. For a moment, he could have sworn the water was red but when he blinked again it was clear as crystal. The smoke filled the entire bathroom, fogging the mirrors and windows, he was using too much hot water. His skin was red and blistered but he kept rubbing, his cerulean eyes glazed over and dead.

There was a knock at the door that barely registered in his mind. A muted, feminine voice asked, "Naruto, are you alright? You've been in there for more than an hour already."

He tried to open his mouth to speak but his throat had closed suddenly. He reached for the soap and ignored the stinging pain it wrought as it seeped into now open wounds. He rubbed with his wet cloth, and then rubbed harder. He wanted to call out her name but he couldn't, trapped in an eternal nightmare.

There was a second knock. "Naruto?"

He couldn't move. An image flashed in his mind of a still beating heart seeping blood and he swore he could still feel it in his hand, wet and pulsating. He had held life in his hand and had taken it away effortlessly. It made him sick to his stomach and pain ripped through him as if he were being burned alive, pain that brought him to his knees with a loud thud. He dry heaved loudly but he was suddenly shivering even though it was so hot…

"Naruto? Naruto, I'm coming in," her voice was rushed with worry.

The bathroom door opened and she was assaulted by a wave of obscuring steam. She could hear the shower running but apart from that it was so silent. Her jade eyes could faintly make out the shape of the shower cubicle and she made her way towards it, pulling the sliding door open.

"Naruto?" she whispered, her words tinged with disbelief.

His haunted blue eyes met hers. Her heart was suddenly so full of agony and she felt her breath catch in the back of her throat as she took in the scene. His knees were pulled tightly to his chest and he was trembling in the corner of the cubicle, like a vulnerable child.

She watched his mouth open and close like that of a fish; trying desperately to speak but unable to find the words or strength. He rose to his feet shakily and leaned against the dark shower wall for support, his eyes watching hers all the time. There was a silent plead for help in their depths, one she longed to satisfy but she didn't know what to do; she didn't know what was wrong.

Then she was pulled into the shower with him and into a desperate, needy embrace. Her clothes were now wet and clung to her body like a second skin, her last change of clean clothes. His face was buried in the crook of her neck and she could feel him trembling against her body. She moved her arms, placing them around his torso and pulling him closer to her to provide him with the comfort he needed.

He swallowed painfully and the palms of his hands cupped the sides of her face, meeting her beautiful green eyes. What happened if he lost control again? He might kill her, kill her like he had that rogue nin, and he wouldn't be able to stop it until it was over. The next heart he ripped out with his bare hands could be hers but he told himself he would sooner kill himself first. Sakura meant everything to him.

Time had stopped for the both of them as he looked deep into her eyes, as if looking for an answer to all of his questions. She leaned into his hands and placed one of her own atop his left one gently. Her jade eyes closed and she very softly squeezed his fingers but he took her hand and kissed the inside of her wrist, slowly and never tearing his eyes away from hers.

She placed her arms around his neck and pulled him into a deep kiss as the tears flowed down her face. A thousand emotions and feelings were poured into it, none of which she could name but knew somewhere in the back of her mind. He returned the kiss and held her tightly to him, desperately hanging onto her because the only thing that scared him was losing her.

She needed this.

**He needed this**.

* * *

As Naruto dropped to his knees in front of him, his head touching the floor in an expression of utmost respect, the Fourth found himself extremely surprised.

Naruto's voice was thick with emotion as he said, "Hokage-sama, please help me with the Kyuubi."

Bending down and sitting on the floor in front of Naruto, the Fourth studied his son contemplatively. He touched the back of the blonde's head with a slender, calloused hand gently and Naruto raised his eyes ever so slightly to meet Minato's gaze. A small, sad smile stretched over Minato's face.

"_There's no need for you to bow to me. I'm no longer the Hokage and I'd much rather you call me Minato," _he told the naïve boy with the patience of a wise sage.

"Minato-san," Naruto rephrased the man's title and slight happiness filled the depths of Minato's melancholy blue eyes.

"_I was going to help you with the Kyuubi from the very beginning, Naruto, so there's no need to ask me for my help. How far away from Konoha are you right now?" _The Fourth asked, acting as though nothing had happened a few moments prior.

"We just came in an hour ago," Naruto answered, sitting up self consciously.

Nodding in acknowledgment, Minato inquired, _"How tired are you?"_

Naruto's brow creased at the strange question but he still replied, "Not too tired."

"_Alright. Go to the training fields and use as much of the fox's chakra as you can," _he instructed Naruto and slowly, Naruto nodded.

* * *

He gasped for breath and staggered against a tree for support as his knees gave way. The training field was a battlefield of deep, circular holes and fallen trees; not a single trace of the healthy green grass that had been there previously remained. The entire area reeked of evil and corruption, as though it had been threaded into the foliage before anyone had noticed. Naruto shut his tired cerulean eyes for a moment and then they flashed open with determination as he forced himself to his feet.

Roaring, Naruto formed a glowing red Rasengan in his right hand and slammed it into the already tortured ground. As it rotated rapidly, the dirt flew up and around him like fireworks and marred his already grimy face. He hoped the Kyuubi's chakra was being depleted because he wasn't so sure how much longer his body would be able to take the physical strain.

His body had never felt so heavy, he thought. It was all he could to do drag himself along and running was out of the question. His blue eyes were half lidded with fatigue and if he had taken time to notice, his entire body was trembling with the slightest of shivers. An image of vibrant green eyes and a flash of pink was what kept him going.

A second, smaller Rasengan formed in his large hand, spinning at a painfully slow speed. He squinted in concentration and forced as much chakra into it as possible. For a moment, it grew to its usual size but as time passed it grew smaller and smaller until it was the size of a ping pong ball. The Rasengan disappeared with a hiss.

Then suddenly, he no longer had any chakra.

They were the most terrifying moments of his entire life. Something ominous, something dark chilled his blood and the fine hairs on the back of his neck prickled malevolently. His breath caught in his frozen throat and suddenly his heartbeat was too loud, beating, beating, _beating…_

He could still sense the Kyuubi's chakra in the depths of his seal but it was though he couldn't reach it anymore, as though…as though he had been _cut off_-

Minato's scream filled his head, "_**NO!" **_

Realization dawned on Naruto's face but it was seconds too late. His entire body pulsated and suddenly he was burning, burning from the inside out. A sickening smell reached his nose and his skin started to bubble and burst, bubble and burst in a twisted never ending cycle. He could feel the fangs starting to grow inside of his mouth and they pierced the thin skin of his lip as he tried to keep himself from screaming out in agony. His knees hit the ground heavily and his hands clenched into tight fists.

"**Let me free! I **_**will **_**destroy Konoha! I'll crush it, crush it until not even the smallest child lives and then what will you do, Minato?! **_**Minato!" **_The hysterical, animalistic screaming deafened him.

Naruto scrabbled to find Minato's presence in the back of his seal but the door was locked and bolted. He couldn't get in and was becoming desperate; Naruto _needed _Minato's help. Minato knew what to do, Naruto was sure of it, and his mind was in a frenzy as he pounded on Minato's door.

He could feel the power overwhelming him and he couldn't breathe. Blood trickled from the side of his mouth, sizzling as it came into contact with his skin and he could only see in shivering black and whites. His fingernails – _his claws that ached for blood - _dug deep into the flesh of his palms as he tried to force back the Kyuubi's chakra. He was losing himself slowly and becoming the Kyuubi – _as his tails swished behind him powerfully_ – and the name Uzumaki Naruto began to fade into the recesses of his mind.

"**I'll start with your child, I'll rip his throat open and cut his heart out!" **

A scream erupted from Naruto's throat as he fought to keep control. His body pulsated again painfully and a wave of corrupted chakra covered the entire area. The trees shook in the surrounding area and evil spread through the city like a disease. Only a few people knew _that _chakra and instantly, four people raced towards the training field.

- **I would die for Konoha **_Minato's eyes were dark with determination and suddenly jealousy raced throughout him as he flexed his claws and his chakra spiked -_

Suddenly, an insatiable need to kill flooded through him and everything around him began to fuel the hatred growing in the bottom of his heart and he needed to destroy, destroy _Konoha_- _**NO!**_

"_Naruto, Naruto, listen to me," _He could hear Minato's voice in the back of his head but as he grit his teeth and tried to keep a hold of his slipping control, he found it difficult to concentrate on anything else.

"_You have to remember who you are, you're Namikaze Naruto. You are __**not **__the Kyuubi, remember Naruto, __**remember**__."_

Throwing his head upwards, Naruto's eyes morphed from a bloody red to a vibrant blue, from a bloody red to a vibrant blue in a painful struggle. His gaze rushed to everything around him but only one colour seemed to register in his mind and that was the deep green of the leaves. As he watched, the green morphed into something paler and into a pair of captivating, smiling eyes.

_- _**everyone, this time get a good luck at my back **_she had looked like a goddess as her eyes lit with determination and then in that moment he knew he loved her – _

- **I'm sorry I wasn't there on the mission **_then he knew he never wanted her to suffer like that again; sadness never suited her and she always looked her best when she was happy -_

_- _**never never never **_and her jade green eyes filled with tears and suddenly his heart was bursting because he knew that he might not be able to keep that promise -_

And he remembered.

Deafening silence pressed against his ears. The ground rushed towards him and he fell with an exhausted thump, his body bleeding and skin charred black. His chest rose at an unhealthy, unsteady pace and he could hear himself wheezing. Pain coursed through every last nerve but he was just so relieved because he was Naruto, he was _Uzumaki Naruto _not anyone else.

* * *

**Next Chapter Preview : Father**

Betrayed blue eyes glittered and Naruto repeated in the same pained whisper, "Why didn't you tell me that I'm your son?"

* * *

**A/N:  
**Hooeey! Next chapter, Naruto finds out about Minato's true identity! It's actually a little difficult to write and I'm thinking about doing a longass character study on Minato. We don't know enough about him and it really pisses me off because how the hell would Minato act if Naruto asked him that question? Would he pretend he had no idea what was going on or would he be honourable and admit the truth? Ahh! It's frustrating! I'm actually really proud of the last scene. I felt the leadup was cool. I can't write, my fingers are frozen damn it.

_Why didn't Naruto realize that Minato had called him Namikaze Naruto?  
_Well, when you're in pain you don't tend to notice these little things see. Minato slipped because damn it man, when your son is about to die you don't think 'Oh, wait, what happens if he finds out my real identity?' It's not going to matter if your son's dead! I love Minato, I really do. :)

_How come Naruto remembers what happened to him when he lost control? In the anime and manga he has no recollection.  
_As the seal breaks and the Kyuubi has more control over Naruto. He can pin Naruto's conscious in one place and force him to watch everything the Kyuubi does. He can do almost anything he wants to Naruto at this point, and if one day Naruto gives up then all of Konoha is screwed.

_Wouldn't Sakura have freaked out if a naked man hugged her?  
_Yeah, that was running through my head too. I'm just hoping you guys sort of overlook that, because if I was Sakura I would jump his bones faster than you could say ramen. I didn't want to put that Naruto was naked in there since that would ruin the mood. If I was reading something like that, I'd be giggling.

_I thought Sai was an emotionless bastard?  
_Then doesn't that mean that Naruto losing control must have been really terrifying if it could worry an ANBU member?

**Selandora (the sickeningly emotional undeniably sexy one you all must fear)**


	7. Chapter 6 : Father

**Chapter 6: Father**

Strong, scented tendrils of smoke permeated the air. The smell made Jiraiya's eyes water but Gamabunta, who sat across from him comfortably on the grass, paid him no mind. The big, long pipe in his webbed crimson fingers crackled in the silence.

"So, what did you call me for, Jiraiya?" Gamabunta's loud, deep voice made the ground rumble and the trees shiver.

Jiraiya asked, "Before Minato died, did he tell you anything?"

Gamabunta took another long drag on his pipe and let a smoke ring form from between his lips. He answered him evasively, "Of course he did; I knew him for five years. Never could tell what that boy was thinking, pleasant enough though."

"But did he say anything in particular? About Naruto or the Kyuubi, maybe?" the toad hermit pressed further.

Gamabunta let out a great sigh. He touched his tongue to one of his thick red fingers so he could put out his pipe and it hissed like a snake as it was extinguished. It was slipped into the thick white band surrounding his waist and his great yellow unblinking eyes stared at the white haired man. He said nothing.

"Naruto's seal is breaking. I need to know if Minato told you anything," Jiraiya finally explained.

The toad boss answered, "Minato didn't tell me anything."

A great pang of disappointment formed deep inside Jiraiya's chest. After a long period of silence, he nodded eventually and dispelled Gamabunta with a gigantic cloud of smoke.

* * *

He was suddenly enveloped in a tight, warm embrace. After a moment's shock, Naruto realized that it was Minato hugging him but so strong was the shock that all he could do was stand stiffly. Eventually Minato pulled away and placed his heavy hands on Naruto's broad shoulders, meeting his cerulean gaze with his own searching sapphire one.

"_Naruto, I'm so sorry, I should have thought everything through better because I didn't think that would happen and…my God, you're alright, aren't you?" _Minato's words were rushed and stringed with concern. However, underlying them there was the unmistakable tone of relief.

"I'm fine," Naruto managed.

Minato's eyes flashed a cold, steely blue that sent shivers down Naruto's spine. They narrowed ever so slightly and Minato demanded, _"Are you sure? You're not just lying to me so that I won't worry?" _

Naruto had been shocked by the sudden change in character. Was this what it was like to have a father? Minato's searching gaze lingered and Naruto swallowed, trying to think of an answer. He honestly didn't know.

"I…I think I'm okay. It's kind of weird though; the only time Sakura's really nice to me is when I'm hurt. It must be some sadistic tendency women have," Naruto mused.

All traces of coldness slipped out of Minato's eyes to be replaced with amusement and his lips quirked into a smile. He released Naruto and said, _"I think you might have a point there. Your mo- a woman I used to know was exactly the same."_

Thankful Naruto hadn't caught onto his little slip, Minato was silently grateful Naruto wasn't too observant or curious. He would have had to ward off questions left and right if his son had been.

"_Have you taken Sakura out on a date yet?" _Minato asked and a slight flush spread across Naruto's face.

He stuttered, "N-not yet. I just got out of hospital and all and I kind of forgot…"

"_Alright, then you still have hope. Women work in opposites you see. When they say yes, they mean no, and if they say no they mean yes. If they say they don't want to do something, they actually do want to do something and if you ask her for sex and she says no she actually just wants you to rip off her-"_

"Ah! I don't want to know anymore!" Naruto clapped his hands over his ears in an attempt to drown out Minato.

Bursting into warm, deep throated laughter, Minato ruffled Naruto's hair fondly. Minato told him, _"Well, when the two of you get married you'll be begging for my advice."_

Very suddenly, the atmosphere sobered. The 'when' added to the beginning of Minato's sentence made all the difference and Naruto began to wonder if that when would ever come.

"Minato-san…what are we going to do about the Kyuubi?" Naruto asked quietly.

Minato realized his mistake and removed his hand from atop of Naruto's head. The smile faded from his face and he answered, _"I have another plan but it won't work if you don't have enough chakra. Your chakra still hasn't completely returned and you need to be in top form if we want this to work. We'll try and work on it tomorrow."_

"But the Kyuubi might not wait until tomorrow! It might take over me at any minute!" Naruto protested.

"_If we can't do anything about it at the moment, then we can't. If we try and go through with my new plan in your current state, you'll end up having to use the Kyuubi's chakra and what happened last time will repeat again. Unless you want that to happen again, you have to wait," _Minato explained patiently.

Bitter silence followed his words as Naruto came to terms with what Minato was telling him. A warm hand squeezed his shoulder, bringing him out of his reverie and Naruto's cerulean eyes met Minato's amused sapphire ones.

"_Why don't you ask Sakura out on a date? You're going to have to wait until tomorrow anyways and who knows, maybe you won't need my advice on _that _anymore," _Minato suggested with a teasing smirk.

Naruto became horribly embarrassed and managed to grumble under his breath, "Damn it, leave me alone."

Minato heard and he began to laugh loudly. The sound of Minato's warm laughter followed Naruto as he ran towards the wooden door, his face redder than a tomato.

* * *

Sakura's hospital shift ended at six, which meant Naruto had four more hours to kill before he decided to take Minato's advi- before he decided to ask Sakura out for dinner rather. Even just remembering the Fourth's smug face made his cheeks burn, but with anger or with embarrassment, he wasn't sure. Wandering the bustling streets of Konoha alone was something he was prone to doing and this time, he let his feet lead the way.

What should I do for four hours? Naruto wondered. He had already eaten at Ichiraku's for two hours and he didn't think he'd be able to go again, not because he was full but because he wouldn't have enough money. Training? No, he had just eaten and Tsunade would probably murder him if he tried with all his injuries anyways. Go talk to ero-sennin?

Naruto shivered inwardly. Where the hell had that one come from?

For a moment, Naruto longed to go see to Minato again. Then he remembered how the man had treated him and that thought was instantly cast into exile a long way away. Suddenly, a blast of cold air conditioning forced him to stop in his tracks. Glancing upwards in confusion, he realized he was in a place he normally tried his very best to avoid. He was in Konoha's library.

An aging kunoichi, who sat behind a large semi circular desk further ahead, raised her eyebrows at him. As Naruto walked past her with a trancelike look to his cerulean eyes, she shook her head in disbelief and ignored him. Naruto still had no idea what he was doing in the godforsaken library of all places and he stopped to recollect his thoughts.

Squinting his bright blue eyes slightly, he raised his thumb to his bottom lip to take his thinking position. It hadn't changed at all in the past few years. What _was _he doing here? Minato probably would know, but wait! How would Minato know? Wasn't Minato inside his head? But Minato was in the seal…but technically the seal and Naruto's mind were sort of the same…right? What the hell was Naruto thinking about? Gripping at his blonde hair in frustration, he let out a small whine of frustration.

_Wait a minute,_ a burst of inspiration exploded in Naruto's mind, _Minato's the Yondaime so there must be some information on him in the library, right? _

Bringing his fingers together he whispered, "Kage bunshin no jutsu!"

Several clones formed around him in a poof of smoke and he quickly explained the plan. They all nodded and raced off, grabbing as many books as they could that looked remotely linked to the Yondaime or the Hokages. Settling down at the largest table, every Naruto was thrown a dodgy look from another library user and quickly the table he sat at was empty apart from eight orange clad ninja.

An hour later, the clones cried, "I found information on Minato!"

"Good job!" Naruto congratulated them and all of the clones beamed at each other, patting themselves the back. Dispelling all of his clones, he began to go through the new information in his head.

The Yondaime was one of the greatest ninja ever to have lived, but died at the tragic age of twenty five saving Konoha. It has been said that he was the most humane and down to earth Hokage. He graduated from the academy at the age of ten – _ten?! _– and developed two famed jutsus, Rasengan and Hiraishin. He was trained by Jiraiya – _ero-sennin was his sensei? – _and later on became the teacher of the famous copy-nin, Hatake Kakashi. He was later given the nickname 'Konoha's Yellow Flash' because of his technique, Hiraishin, that would allow him to travel to various places at an impossible speed and would become a yellow blur.

Leaning back in his wooden chair, Naruto sighed and let his cerulean eyes rove over the dull white ceiling. Although he was happy he had found some information on Minato, he couldn't help but be disappointed with what he had. It was almost as if he was expecting something more, something _else_. He felt like…like something important had been missed out. Not only that but he found himself longing for the little details, like what flavour ramen Minato had liked or what Minato's goal had been. He wouldn't have minded finding a few scrolls on Minato's techniques either; especially on Hiraishin.

Standing up and walking towards the librarian, he asked her, "Do you have anything else on the Fourth Hokage? His jutsu scrolls maybe?"

The librarian frowned at him, age lines gathering at the corners of her mouth. In a curt voice she told him, "Any other information on the Fourth Hokage is restricted and kept in the Hokage's personal library."

Glancing at the large luminous wall clock, Naruto realized he had two hours more until he could go see Sakura. Walking out of the library, the deep red Hokage building caught his eye. Stopping in his tracks, he began to think. He wanted to get into baa-chan's library but he wasn't absolutely sure if she would let him in if his reason wasn't good enough. Somehow, he believed that satisfying his own curiosity didn't quite cut it.

There was only one other option then. A grin split across his face. He would have to break into Tsunade's library.

* * *

"Haruno-san, its six o clock already," a mature, aged voice spoke tenderly to bleary eyed Sakura.

Looking up in confusion, she met the eyes of an elderly medic nin who had been in the hospital far longer than she had. Almost as if in a daze, Sakura nodded absentmindedly and dropped her pen on the table. She had made her way through three stacks of paperwork and had almost finished her fourth but her shift had just ended. She stood up and brushed imaginary dust off her front, stifling a yawn.

_Naruto said he'd come and pick me up at the hospital, _Sakura remembered and subconsciously, her step quickened.

When she eventually pushed through the double glass doors of the hospital into the grassy open space outside, her jade eyes scanned the area quickly. A lump of disappointment formed at the back of her throat as she realized Naruto was not there and found it odd that he hadn't come on time. He was the one who had been insisting that he'd come an hour early after all.

She spotted one of the many stone hewn benches and made her way towards it, sitting down. She'd give him fifteen minutes and then she'd go home if he didn't show up.

Fifteen minutes passed and there was still no Naruto. Leaning against her back against the bench with a loud sigh, she folded her arms over her chest irritably. Where was he? Maybe he was held up or had an unexpected mission briefing. Yeah, that was probably it. She'd give him another half hour before she left.

As a few medic nin walked out of the building, Sakura was thrown a few very strange and suspicious glances. Most medics were glad to be free of the hospital once their shift ended and that Sakura was still sitting outside almost an hour after her shift had ended was ridiculous. Sakura could feel their glances and was beginning to grow quite uncomfortable and stupid herself. Looking at her watch, she realized that forty five minutes had passed. It was now seven and he was officially an hour late.

Maybe Tsunade-sama was taking a bit longer on the briefing than she thought. Another hour maybe, but that was it! She'd definitely go home.

An hour and a half passed.

Naruto would never stand her up…would he? _No, he wouldn't_, she thought firmly. She felt really tired and she swore that if she laid eyes upon that stupid man he would be taking her out to the most expensive restaurant in all of Konoha whether he liked it or not. She'd make him buy everything on the menu just to add insult. She closed her eyes and let out a sharp exhale of annoyance. Another ten minutes at most, she decided, and then she would most definitely go home.

"Haruno-san? Haruno-san, please wake up," a soft, quiet voice tugged at the back of Sakura's mind, jolting her back into consciousness.

With the most grace she could muster, she managed a ladylike response. "Huh?"

Bolting upwards, the skittish blonde medic nin in front of her took a few steps backwards as Sakura fished around in her bag for her watch. As she pulled out the elusive black piece of plastic, she swore colourfully. Ten o clock? Where the hell was the bastard?! He was four hours late!

"Haruno-san, do you need some help getting back home?" the blonde girl asked nervously but with all the kindness in the world.

Shaking her head, Sakura forced a smile onto her face and told her she'd be fine. As the girl departed, the silence pressed against her ears painfully and she became very aware that she was the only one in the area. Averting her eyes, she could feel them prickling with heat and glanced up at the night sky to keep the liquid in them from spilling over. Naruto wouldn't stand her up. He'd be here soon. Anyways, she'd been waiting for four hours already so he _had _to be coming soon.

Pulling off her navy hitai-ate, she looked at her moonlit reflection in scratched metal. A painful image of a pathetic fourteen year old girl, forever waiting and forever wanting, flashed in her mind and she bit down viciously on her lip as she tried to convince herself that history wasn't repeating itself.

* * *

The black sandals scuffed the ground as the wearer dragged his feet across the path, to nowhere in particular. They kicked up dust clouds that faded into nothingness, much like ripples in a pond or the thoughts racing through the man's mind. He didn't know what to think anymore and cerulean eyes betrayed the inner turmoil within him.

Catching sight of his reflection in a shop window, he stopped to stare. Spiky blonde hair, vibrant blue eyes, a strong chin, high defined cheek bones…running his calloused finger over the skin of his face, he felt something painful form deep in his chest. His breath caught in his throat and he averted his eyes from his reflection to focus on a clock inside the shop window.

It was eleven thirty. Naruto was surprised at the time and then suddenly he remembered.

_Sakura._

And then he was off, sprinting like a demon towards the hospital. When it came into view, the unmistakable pastel pink of Sakura's hair came into view. He slowed to a stop in front of her and felt guilt spread through him like poison. She was fast asleep on the uncomfortable stone bench and he realized she must have been waiting more than five hours for him. Why didn't she go home?

He took in her sleeping figure. She was in a sitting position with her head tilted back, exposing her long, pale neck. His cerulean eyes roved over the exposed piece of skin and then his gaze fell to her long, slender legs. He swallowed painfully, trying to pull his eyes away but he was powerless to do so.

- _and a woman with burning red hair laughed, stealing his master away from him as jealousy writhed within him like a dying snake -_

Suddenly, carnal instincts raced through him and he wanted to throw her to the ground, to rip off all of her clothes and make her eyes roll back in pleasure. The taste of evil tainted the air and his world began to bleed as the red eyes of the Kyuubi fought for dominance with the clashing blue of his own. Tensing every muscle in his body, he could feel his claws growing and he just **wanted to rip off her shirt**just **needed to feel her slick****skin against his**just **wanted to feel her around him** just needed to get back in control.

His head span sickeningly and his claws pierced into the fleshy palms of his hands. His need was growing to the point that it was nearly painful and the dark sounds of sadistic laughter rang like a gong in his ears. With a loud gasp, he fell to his knees on the pavement and his claws left long, spidery marks in the cement.

Thousands of images of her writhing beneath him screaming his name filled his head and he raised a single, trembling hand towards her. His fingers brushed against bare, taut skin and it was with a pained gasp that his razor sharp nails sank into it like butter.

And then sudden silence.

It was as if all the sounds in the world had been sucked into a vacuum and hidden far away. The lack of noise pressed against his ears painfully and as he slowly pulled his fingers from deep within his leg, he winced. His hand was stained a deep garish red, dripping onto the pavement beside him.

He fought to keep from looking at Sakura again, terrified of a repeat of the previous performance. Maybe he wouldn't be able to stop himself the next time, maybe he would really hurt her. He couldn't stand knowing that the biggest threat to the person he loved was from something he could barely protect her from. How was he meant to protect her from himself?

His eyes fell upon her limp, slender hand. She was trembling with cold and, gritting his teeth in determination, he realized he wouldn't be able to leave her here. Could he risk carrying her back to his apartment without another relapse?

_Bring her back to your apartment. You managed to stop yourself once, you can do it again. _Minato's soft voice trickled through his mind.

The sound of the Yondaime's voice made every last hair on Naruto's neck prickle and he stiffened. It was with some force that he managed to pull himself to his feet and, reaching for Sakura hesitantly, his clean hand brushed her cheek. He made himself look at her, really look at her, and all of the unbridled lust he had been feeling moments before had disappeared.

He wiped his bloody hand on his black pants, knowing Sakura wouldn't be too happy if he stained her clothes. As he picked her up and held her tightly to his chest, he could feel the throbbing pain in his leg but it was more than worth it, if it meant he had saved her from himself.

* * *

Her eyelids lifted slowly like curtain blinds, revealing a beautiful view of dazzling jade. She noticed absentmindedly that she was no longer outside the hospital and had been moved, but although she should have been alarmed she felt safe. The blue mattress and sheets told her that she wasn't in her home but she had a good idea who the person pressed against her back was.

She turned onto her side and a bandaged muscular arm shifted. As she watched the features of his face, they twisted in annoyance and his cerulean eyes fluttered open. Their eyes met and the silence became tainted with something Sakura couldn't quite place. Naruto's hand lifted to her face and brushed the pastel hair out of her eyes, lingering upon her cheek before removing it again.

"I'm sorry I was late," he whispered, breaking the thin silence.

She murmured to him, "If we weren't in the bed together, I would probably hit you. I was there for more than five hours."

"I know, but I got sidetracked," he began, draping an arm around her slim waist again.

"You had better have a good explanation or I'm going home," she threatened in an undertone.

The smile that spread across his face was without humour. He said, "I do have a good explanation."

"Oh?"

"I have a father."

Her beryl eyes widened in surprise. The words spilled out of her mouth as she blurted, "You do? Did you go find him? He'd probably be really happy to see you-"

"Sakura…he's dead," he interrupted softly.

She fell silent, wondering if Naruto was disappointed. He didn't look disappointed but he looked very melancholy, as though somebody he had known had recently died. He had never met his father so he didn't really have much to be sad for, right?

"He's the Yondaime."

* * *

"Why didn't you tell me?" Naruto's victimized whisper carried across the pale yellow desert like wind.

Minato didn't turn to face him. _"Tell you what?"_

Betrayed blue eyes glittered and he repeated in the same pained whisper, "Why didn't you tell me that I'm your son?"

Silence fell as the Yondaime absorbed the weight of his words. He closed his eyes, exhaustion settling in. He had been hoping that maybe Naruto could remain ignorant for a little bit longer, until after they had sorted out the Kyuubi, but time and coincidence had never favoured Minato.

"_How did you find out?" _He asked softly.

"Does it matter? I know now, so answer my question," Naruto demanded angrily.

Minato answered reluctantly, _"I wanted you to find out for yourself."_

"What, find out you're hiding things from me?" Naruto retorted.

"_Aren't I entitled to my own secrets?" _

Something in Naruto snapped as he yelled, "Don't give me that bullshit! You could be hiding so many things from me, you could be usingme to do things you couldn't finish in your own life-"

Minato's eyes flashed cobalt steel. _"I would __**never**_ _use you."_

"How do I know that? I don't know anything about you except for what it says in the textbooks! And, why didn't anybody tell me after all this time? I have to find out for myself that I actually had a family and I'm the son of the Yondaime Hokage, who's _only_ one of the greatest ninja ever to have lived. I had to grow up alone with the hatred of nearly the entire village to find out that my _dad _was the reason why I was abused by everyone!"

Naruto's eyes were wide with anger, frustration and a hundred other things he couldn't name at the moment. This man was somebody he had grown to trust as much as he did Kakashi, somebody who he had trusted with his life and the pain of betrayal hurt more than anything he had ever experienced. His loud, heavy breathing filled the tentative air and the Hokage turned to face his son.

"_Are you finished?" _he asked, in a quiet voice.

Who was this man, to think that everything was okay and that this was just some stupid once in a while rant? This was his god damn _father _and he was acting like nothing was wrong, that he hadn't hidden the fact that he had parents for seventeen fucking years and it pissed him off!

His fist smashed into the Yondaime's face and Minato stumbled backwards with the intensity of the hit. Naruto was breathing heavily, his eyes flashing with fury and as Minato straightened up to face Naruto with that infuriating calm, patient expression, Naruto hit him again.

Naruto was screaming, "What's your fucking problem? Do you know how much I've suffered because of you? Do you know what it's like to wake up to an empty house every morning? Do you know how many times I've seen families walking past and wonder what it's like to belong to one? No, you _don't _fucking know damn it, so **don't pretend everything is okay!" **

His sapphire eyes met Naruto's. He said, _"I'm sorry."_

And then Naruto exploded. He hit Minato over and over again, because sorry didn't cut it, sorry didn't make up for all the times Naruto had cried, sorry didn't make up for a lifetime without a family that cared for him. Minato took every single one of Naruto's punches without a word, without ever once raising his own hands. Every time he fell, he would stand up and take another hit only to fall and repeat the vicious cycle. Naruto wanted Minato to scream back at him, to get angry and _say something _because he wanted Minato to know his pain.

Something cracked with a sickening snap as Naruto's foot smashed against Minato's chest, but Minato didn't even wince. He was silent and stationary, like a punching bag awaiting its user.

Why didn't he do anything? He was the Hokage, he could have thrown Naruto to the floor and broken his neck in three seconds!

The crimson blood splattered the floor, a stark contrast against the pale yellow. Minato stumbled to the floor and this time he didn't get to his feet. His eyes were still watching Naruto, still calm and filled with that stupid, _stupid _trust that only a _family member_ could give, and Naruto hated it.

He should have been screaming too, should have been hitting Naruto!

Finally, Naruto fell to his knees, shuddering with the aftershock of his own anger. Minato was just letting him hit him, again and again, and he wasn't fighting back like he was supposed to, fighting back like Naruto wanted him to. Deathly silence fell over the room and Naruto couldn't stand it.

He yelled, "God damn it, say something all fucking ready!"

"_Do you honestly believe that it would have made a difference if I had told you from the start?" _the entire room became filled with Minato's quiet murmur.

"_I'm __**dead**__. I can't do anything a parent is meant to do, I can't touch you, I can't hold you, I can't __**protect**_ _you. What kind of a father is a person who has only held his son for half an hour?" _He said bitterly.

"I don't care if you're dead, if you can't touch me, _hell, _if I've never seen you face to face - I just…"

Naruto's cerulean eyes had begun to burn and prickle as a thick lump formed in the back of his throat. He clenched his hands, once, twice and then looked above him in frustration. He never had been good with words, but this time the words were important and he didn't know what to say.

He managed in a choked whisper, "I just wanted family."

He looked everywhere but the Fourth. He was scared of what was to come, what he would do, what would happen to _them. _Swallowing painfully, he settled for staring at the ground.

Minato moved hesitantly. His uncertain shift became a cautious shuffle, his blue eyes fixated on Naruto. But then his shuffle became a slow walk, and the walk became a quick stride and the stride became a hurried jog-

And then Minato was running, sprinting to his son, **his **_**son, **_and silver, a slip of it, charted a course down a whiskered face. The smell of sandalwood overwhelmed Naruto but it didn't matter anymore, nothing else mattered anymore because he had a father, a father who didn't hate him, and he clung to the shirt of a man who should have been alive.

Minato embraced him so tightly it hurt, pulling him closer as if Naruto was going to slip away now that he had found him again. A gasp escaped his mouth and he brushed the back of his hand over his sapphire eyes roughly. This was a moment he had longed for since he had first laid eyes upon his child and it was finally here. They were both trembling.

Naruto's hands were shaking as he sobbed, over and over again, the words, "Dad..._dad."

* * *

_

**Next Chapter Preview : Gamabunta's Secret**

Finally he spoke.

"Sakura, what would you do if I died?"

* * *

**A/N: **  
I'm actually a little angry with the minato and naruto revelation scene. I redid it a few times and I'm still not 100 happy with it. Can anyone guess how the story's going to end? I think I might've made it a bit obvious. :)

_Why did Jiraiya go to Gamabunta about Minato?  
_Minato was one of the people Gamabunta made a contract with and is one of the few people Gamabunta let ride on his head. So, since Gamabunta was used during the fight against Kyuubi it's very likely he was one of the last people -urp, things- he saw. Gamabunta's cool. He's like a yakuza leader.

_Whoa. Minato has major mood swings.  
_Haha, I know right? If he was a woman he'd be deadly when his time of months came. He'd be a hot woman though and I'd love him anyways. MY LOVE FOR MINATO IS STRONG! I'D BECOME BISEXUAL FOR HIM! And definitely for Itachi. Ooo, now that is one sexy man. I'm sorry, I think I went completely off topic.

_Holy MOLY. The scene where Sakura gets stood up is like when Sasuke ditches her to go to Sound!  
_Hey, you realized! Wow this is actually really pathetic, I'm writing to myself. Sorry sorry, back on topic. Yeah, I wanted to bring that in to make it a bittersweet sort of familiarity. Course, Naruto runs in and saves the day. He's lovely, he is. I'd date him. My God, I'm a horndog.

_There are all these weird memories Naruto suddenly has, and they don't seem to belong to him.  
_I'm not sure if I should tell you guys since I'm not sure I'll even explain it. Oh well, might as well. There are only three more chapters until the story is done anyways, I think. Anyways, basically what happened was that Minato and the Kyuubi used to be really close. It was a weird relationship where the Kyuubi acted like he couldn't care less what happened to Minato, but when Minato became Hokage and married Kushina, Kyuubi felt like he was losing Minato. One day, Minato went on a mission and came very close to dying, calling out to Kyuubi. Kyuubi came and if he used his tainted black chakra, it would kill Minato instantly but if he used his light chakra it would bring Minato back from the brink of death. He used so much of his light chakra that there was an imbalance between his dark and light chakra so he became overwhelmed in darkness. He saved Minato but started going insane and the darkness started feeding on Kyuubi's jealousy until he tried to destroy Konoha. Then Minato stepped in, sealed him and whatnot. Cool, huh?

**Selandora (the sickeningly emotional undeniably sexy one you all must fear)**

**PS. **For those of you waiting for Defining Duty (Defining Evil's sequel) IT WILL BE COMING OUT SHORTLY. AHAHA. Yes, the wait is over. I have finally decided I am happy with the first chapter and am starting the second one. HOORAHH!


	8. Chapter 7 : Gamabunta's Secret

**Chapter 7: Gamabunta's Secret**

A burst of cold air shocked Sakura awake and her jade green eyes flashed open. Sitting up, she looked down at the bed and realized that all of the blankets were on the floor and the mattress was _shaking_.

"Naruto?" her voice was weaker than she would have liked in the darkness.

The bed shifted and there was a sharp hiss as Naruto breathed in deeply. His voice was strained as he asked, "C-can you heal my stomach infection?"

A second wave of pain wracked Naruto's body and whiteness exploded before his eyes as he gasped, covering his stomach instinctively. He could feel the acid in his stomach attacking itself and as Sakura's healing chakra swirled around his organ, he fought to keep himself as still as possible. His teeth grit and his hands clenched in the fabric of the mattress cover, damp from his sweat.

"I really think you should go to Tsunade-shishou about this," she murmured to him in concern as she began to numb his nerves to block out the pain.

Closing his eyes, he remained silent. As the pain faded into the recesses of his mind, so did his consciousness and he fell asleep once more.

* * *

"_Summon Gamabunta-san and ask for the scroll I left him," _Minato instructed Naruto from within his mind. 

"You actually managed to make Gamabunta do something for you?" Naruto mumbled as he walked towards the furthest, least used training fields.

The afternoon streets of Konoha were bustling with people, none of whom took a second glance at Naruto as he passed them. His skin had healed nicely and although his body felt a bit tight and stiff, it was nothing a little stretch wouldn't fix. Weaving his way through a dense forest, his footsteps were muffled by the moist, soft soil underfoot and he emerged in a large clearing far away from the city. Winter had come with icy winds and quick darkness, which was why Naruto was walking along in a thick black jumper.

"_Well, Gamabunta-san realized that it was the first and last favour I'd ever ask of him as I was hours away from dying anyways," _Minato explained.

Naruto felt a strange pang in his chest as he was reminded not for the first time that Minato was dead. He asked awkwardly, "Is it weird? Being dead, that is."

"_Not much different from being alive. Though, using the Shiki Fuujin meant that I traded my life to a Shinigami with a sense of humour who decided to put me inside you along with the Kyuubi. I haven't had a very normal death and I haven't gone to heaven or anything, so I'm probably not the best person to ask," _he answered lightly.

"So…when I die, will you go to heaven?" Naruto questioned.

"_I don't know. But you're not going to die anytime soon, so don't ask questions like that. Now, summon Gamabunta-san," _Minato's voice was curt and instinctively Naruto dropped the subject.

Biting into his thumb with a sharp canine, Naruto pressed his fingertips against the ground. He murmured, "Kuchiyose no jutsu!"

There was a gigantic trembling and very suddenly, an obscuring, tinted red smoke covered the area. Choking and waving his hand around to bat away the smoke, Naruto could discern the huge, blurry outline of the toad boss.

"Who keeps on summoning me?! The one day I get time off, everybody decides to call for my help," Gamabunta's loud, annoyed voice rumbled and the trees shook.

"Sorry boss, I'll make it quick. Can I have the scroll the Fourth Hokage left you?" Naruto began.

Gamabunta's unblinking yellow eyes narrowed. He put away his pipe and crossed his arms over his chest, staring down at Naruto. He said flatly, "No."

"What?! But, boss, I _need _that scroll!" Naruto pleaded. Gamabunta very openly ignored Naruto, closing his eyes and turning his head away.

"What do I do?" Naruto asked Minato in frustration.

"_Tell him that he'll be meeting one of his old friends if he doesn't hand it over soon," _Minato replied.

"Eh…eh, boss!" the blonde haired seventeen year old tried to get Gamabunta's attention.

One of Gamabunta's eyes flickered open in exasperation and he demanded, "What?"

"If I don't get the scroll, you'll be meeting an old friend of yours pretty soon," Naruto repeated Minato's words.

A long silence fell over the area.

For a moment, Naruto thought the toad boss was going to dismiss himself and leave Naruto empty handed. However, one of his huge webbed hands reached into his white waistband and he produced a scroll. The scroll looked like a toothpick in Gamabunta's hands, but as he set it down beside Naruto it came up to about his shoulder. Naruto picked up the scroll and looked back up at him. Gamabunta crossed his arms, shaking his head in exasperation.

He commented, "You know, most people say that you're more like your mom than your dad. But personally, I think I see more of your dad in you."

Gamabunta then dismissed himself in a gigantic cloud of smoke.

"…what was mom like?" Naruto asked, before he could help himself.

A soft laugh resounded in Naruto's head, a laugh that sounded fond and…lonely. Minato answered, _"Her name was Uzumaki Kushina, from the Whirlpool country. She was one of the smallest kunoichi I have ever known, but definitely had a mouth to make up for it."_

"So she was annoying?" he pressed. That was a low blow to his pride.

"_No, no. She was really likeable but she'd never let anybody help her, which could get annoying at times. And, she ran into things without thinking about them beforehand so I had to make sure she always had a medic on her team. She was too honest though, but it was nice having someone around who'd tell you straight out that you looked like a walking Christmas tree in green and red," _Minato's voice was tinged with humour, as if he were reminiscing on good times.

Swallowing painfully, Naruto debated over his next question. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer but curiosity was killing him from the inside. He blurted, "What happened to her?"

There was a quick, agonizing silence. Then Minato answered quietly, _"I don't know."_

"What do you mean you don't know? You're her husband, aren't you?" he demanded, slightest traces of indignation creeping into the edges of his voice.

"_Yes, but I died," _his dad answered, with a voice that was almost too casual to be real.

Words escaped Naruto. Guilt quickly tore at every inch of him and he wondered what his dad was feeling. He tried to put himself in Minato's situation. If Naruto had to live every single day with the fear that maybe, just _maybe_, Sakura was dead or dying and he was been unable to do anything to help her…

He didn't know how he'd be able to survive.

"_Naruto, open the scroll," _Minato's voice tore him from his moody train of thought.

Naruto did as his father said and read over all the thick inked kanji thoughtfully. It was an extremely complicated jutsu, he found, and he frowned down at the aged paper between his fingertips.

He asked, "What does the jutsu do?"

"_The jutsu will allow you to release the purest form of untainted chakra and then use it against Kyuubi. The purity of the chakra should purge the evil chakra from your body until it fades into nothingness," _Minato explained.

"Should? So, there's a chance the jutsu won't work?" Naruto questioned.

His father smoothly cut in, _"It's untested. If it doesn't work, then we'll just find another method to get rid of the Kyuubi."_

"But, if this doesn't work, would we be able to come up with another plan in time? I can only hold back the Kyuubi for so long," He murmured, eyes glazing over as the words in the scroll blurred with his inattentiveness.

"_We'll manage something, I'm sure," _The Fourth reassured Naruto.

Rolling up the scroll, Naruto slung it over his shoulder and began the journey back to the hospital to see Sakura. Words were tugging at the back of his vocal chords, but he was unsure if he should voice his opinion on the matter in case he upset Minato. Naruto's foot caught on a rock and he stumbled slightly. He glanced up at the large Hokage monument and locked eyes with the unseeing gaze of the Fourth.

A lump formed in the back of his throat and he swallowed painfully.

* * *

As Sakura finished her shift and walked out of the hospital, she almost walked straight past Naruto without recognizing him. 

He was sat on one of the stone benches, completely silent like a statue. His elbows were on his knees, causing him to lean forwards, and his hands were clasped between his legs. Cerulean blue eyes were deep with thought and there was a frown pulling at the corners of his mouth. She had never seen him look so serious and it scared her slightly. He didn't even look up at her as she approached him. It was only when she touched his shoulder gently that he jerked suddenly to life and blinked up at her in confusion.

He rose to his feet and simply held her gaze for what seemed an eternity. The rough pads of his fingertips traced over the curve of her cheek thoughtfully, like he was commiting the moment to memory so he'd be able to summon it when he needed it most, but his eyes looked so far away.

She whispered a question, "Are you alright, Naruto?"

He didn't react to the question immediately, but managed a slow nod a while afterwards. Leaning forwards, his arms circled around her body and brought her close to his. She could feel the warmth emanating from him – he was always warm, be it his smiles, his voice or his body temperature. It seeped into her, soothing her exhausted body and mind and she returned the embrace without a second thought. His lips pressed against the cool skin of her forehead briefly and she rested her cheek against his chest, listening to the addicting sound of his calm heartbeat.

The hug had lasted much longer than any of the others they had shared. It was with a heavy heart that Naruto eventually released her and they began walking towards their now shared flat.

She stole frequent glances at Naruto, not that he would have noticed. He still looked deeply troubled and it was really beginning to worry her, along with his uncharacteristic silence. Every time she opened her mouth to speak, she closed it again because maybe Naruto did need time to think whatever he was thinking about over. He would speak to her when he was ready, or so she believed, but the wait seemed so long and difficult. Although she wouldn't have admitted it to anyone, she secretly did miss his loud voice and over enthusiastic personality.

The key turned in the lock with an unpleasant grating sound. The door of the apartment shut behind them and Sakura pulled off her thick overcoat. She put it on one of the kitchen counters and began to make some coffee. Naruto hadn't moved from his spot near the entrance and watched her silently, as if every movement and sound she made was God sent. It was slightly unnerving and Sakura felt incredibly self conscious.

Finally he spoke.

"Sakura, what would you do if I died?"

Her head snapped upwards to meet his cerulean gaze. He looked absolutely serious and the question was beginning to scare her, along with the weird way he was acting. Why was he asking her something like that? He wasn't going to die soon, no, _he couldn't _die soon. But the more she thought about the question, the more it scared her and paranoia began to rise in the back of her mind.

"I…" she began, tearing her eyes away from his of intense blue.

She wouldn't be able to stand it if Naruto died. She didn't want to think about it.

He remained standing where he was, watching her with those piercing icy blue eyes. There wasn't even a hint of a smile on her face and he was so quiet, so _silent_. If Naruto was taken away from her, she'd…

"Don't talk like that," she managed in a shaky whisper.

She didn't want to imagine a life without that loud voice, without that big heart, without those whisker scars, **without him**. They had been through everything together, they had always shared things with each other and he _understood _her. He knew that the moment Sasuke had left, they had needed to go after him, he knew that sometimes when she smiled she was really crying, he could see all of that and know all of that and there was nobody else who could. And she was always there to comfort him whenever he needed her and he was always there when she needed his comfort. She didn't know when it had begun, but she was so hopelessly in love with him that it was almost as if he were a part of her and a life without Naruto was-

"**Don't you **_**ever **_**talk like that, Naruto."**

The salty tang of tears shocked Sakura and she raised a hand to her face in shock. Her fingertips came away wet and she began to wipe at her eyes roughly, feeling stupid for crying over something like this. It had just been a question and she was making such a big deal out of it.

The floorboards creaked softly as feet moved towards her. She locked eyes with his deep cerulean ones and finally he smiled, but it was a smile that was filled with sadness.

"If you died Sakura, I wouldn't be able to live. I'll do anything to protect you," he murmured.

She was suddenly crying again and then the words came to her so naturally.

"I love you, Naruto," she confessed.

There was a long, pregnant silence in which neither of them said anything. It was the first time that either of them had ever admitted to anything like love. She didn't know when it had happened but she was in over her head and everything was so serious because she really, truly loved him. Naruto looked at her with those far away eyes again and smiled his sad, sad smile.

He kissed her softly.

* * *

"If this doesn't work, we should consider suicide," Naruto's voice cut through the silence like a knife. 

"_No," _Minato answered in a tone that clearly brooked no argument.

Naruto never could take a hint and he argued, "How many plans can we come up with before the Kyuubi finally breaks free? Killing me is our best option at the moment and you know that as well as I do."

"_It's our best option at the moment, but it is rash. We still have time," _The Fourth's voice nearly took on a pleading tone.

"We don't even know how much time we have. At least if we prepare the suicide as a backup plan, then if things get out of control it'll be okay," Naruto said hotly.

"_There is no need_ _for a suicide. Death doesn't solve everything," _Minato hissed.

Naruto all but yelled, "You killed yourself to seal the Kyuubi into me!"

It was a low blow and for a few moments, Minato said nothing at all. When he spoke again, his voice was steely, _"I had no other choice."_

"What, did all your hundreds of plans screw up back then too?" Naruto spat venomously.

It was with the same, stern tone that Minato continued, _"I had an entire village to protect and I was the Hokage. I was expected to die to save the village."_

"I'm a ninja of Konoha, I'm expected to die for the village as well," He pointed out angrily.

Minato said nothing. He looked at his son and for a moment, he saw a flaming haired woman standing in his place with defiant amber eyes, arguing about something all too familiar. He was so scared of letting go, of losing his son, and it was almost laughable that something could scare him even in death.

His sapphire eyes were icy as he asked Naruto, _"Do you want to die? Do you want to leave Sakura behind?"_

Minato's questions struck Naruto into silence. It felt as though Minato was playing dirty by bringing in the guilty factor, but he was right, Naruto realized. Did he really want to leave Sakura behind, after he was finally being given a chance to love her the way he had for so many years before, after she had finally returned his feelings?

"_Sakura will crumble to pieces without you. She needs you," _Minato continued quietly.

"She won't fall to pieces! Sakura's strong," Naruto insisted firmly.

Despite his strong words, doubt had begun to settle into the depths of his heart. Sakura had been so depressed and lifeless after Sasuke had left, and after Sasuke had died she had been even more so. He had seen her after she had lost a patient and seen her breakdown. He remembered the way she had acted after he had asked her what she'd do if he died and it had shocked him, shocked him that she would cry at the mere thought of losing him. What would she do if she really did lose him?

Minato's voice was soft as he murmured, _"Don't be selfish, Naruto. Think about the people who need you before you make a rash decision."_

"Sakura will be fine, she has Kakashi and Sai to help her," Naruto said weakly.

His father spoke, _"There are so many things you haven't done yet and you'll never be able to do them once you're dead. Life is precious and you'll never be able to get a second shot. I don't want to see you making the same mistake I did and live every second in the afterlife worrying about Sakura or wanting to go back and change something you would have been able to when you were alive. Don't take your life for granted."_

After a long time, Naruto and Minato had started talking again. The Fourth had acted as though the argument had never happened and they had started talking about the jutsu scroll.

Naruto wanted to do the jutsu in his own apartment. When Minato had pointed out that Sakura could walk in while he was performing the jutsu, Naruto had told him that Sakura had her hospital shift and wouldn't come back until he went and picked her up from the hospital entrance. Minato grudgingly agreed and that was why Naruto was in the middle of his living room, on his knees, with a sealing scroll in front of him.

Naruto inhaled deeply and closed his eyes. His calloused fingers found the edges of the long scroll and he fumbled them nervously before opening his eyes once again.

Everything depended on him performing the jutsu correctly. The Kyuubi could break free and it could mean Naruto's death and destruction of Konoha. Or the jutsu could not work at all and Naruto would really...he would really have to die-

He began.

_Rat ox tiger horse monkey dog rabbit_, his fingers flashed like lightning, _tiger rabbit rat monkey-_

The chakra hummed through him like a lifeline, his heartbeat pounding in his ears to an irregular rhythm. He was trying hard to keep his hands from trembling and his hands were moving so fast, like a video in fast forward. His stomach began to glow an ominous crackling red as he formed the hand seals and he gritted his teeth as pain began to course throughout his body but continued, _horse tiger rabbit tiger- _

His hands slammed against the scroll, his blue eyes wide and sweat pouring from his forehead.

Deafening silence filled the room.

Had he done something wrong? Nothing was happening. Naruto swallowed nervously, glancing down at his stomach. Had it worked?

Then suddenly, something happened.

His head felt like it was about to split in two. His cerulean eyes refused to open and he was powerless to move, powerless to think, powerless to speak. All he could feel and think was pain and there was no escaping it.

Was that screaming he could hear? He strained to listen but even that seemed too difficult a task for him. Agony distracted him and he felt his entire body clench in protest. Gritting his teeth he tried to focus, _focus_, _**focus**_.

Was that Sakura-chan screaming? He tried to picture her in his mind but the lines were blurred and the colours bled into one another like a wet painting. Her face finally cleared but trembled like an age old movie screen with every renewed wave of pain.

He held onto her image and thought of her eyes, eyes like emerald, eyes like sea foam, eyes that never failed to captivate him. He almost believed that the pain was slowly ebbing away but as his back arched and he began to fight to breathe, he realized darkly that even Sakura couldn't save him now.

Her name slipped out of his mouth before he could control himself. He reached out with a trembling hand for someone he wasn't even sure was there before a loud scream of pain cut him short. It was only moments later he realized the sound had come from him.

A smooth, husky voice murmured to him in his head, trying to calm him down. _Naruto, you can control this. You still have to become Hokage and protect Sakura. Focus Naruto. __**Focus**_

He was trying to focus but it was so damn _difficult_. His image of Sakura shattered into a thousand pieces he tried to put back together in vain. As he scrabbled to find them, the scattered shards were instantaneously replaced with a dimly lit sewer that was too foreboding to be real. He could hear snarling and metal rattling as small papers fluttered onto the surface of the ankle deep water.

Frustration was beginning to seep in through the pain. He scrabbled desperately to find his focus again but every time he did it slipped through his fingers like water until the sewer dragged him back into a world he wasn't even sure existed. He was growing so tired, he wanted to stop fighting but he had to keep going-

**I can't do this! **He screamed inwardly, his body trembling.

_Naruto, Naruto, listen to me, _Minato's voice was becoming dimmer and dimmer in the back of his mind until he could hear the blood pounding in his ears, drowning out all else.

As he threw his head back in agony and fixed his eyes upon the ceiling, his world blurred between foreboding crimson and white, crimson and white. He couldn't tell what was real anymore because every time he blinked he was in a different place and home was _a half heartedly cleaned apartment _**a dark jail cell **_Konoha _**a seal **Sakura_ Sakura **Sakura**_-

"**Give in to me, Naruto…let me take over…" **a voice that trickled like molten lava whispered seductively into his ear.

Water splashed around him as he jerked wildly, shaking his head no. He couldn't give in, he would never give in, because Sakura was still…Sakura was still…what?

"**Naruto…I can make the pain go away…"**

His mind had become an unending string of hurt. He couldn't think anymore, couldn't remember anything and all he knew was that he wanted to be rid of this pain. The voice crooned to him like music to his ears, telling him what he wanted to hear and it was so tempting to give in.

"**Just let yourself fade away and stop fighting…"**

A small smile played at the corners of Naruto's lips as he began to let himself slip away into the recesses of his mind. He was seeing through a hazy gauze of bright red and even as the whiskers along his face grew and his eyes became narrow crimson slits, he couldn't even register the changes. All he could hear was the voice in his head, murmuring to him, promising him, and he nodded dumbly, accepting everything word for word.

"**I win, Minato."

* * *

**

When Naruto woke up again, he made no move to open his eyes or sit up. The familiar, steady sound of a heart rate monitor registered in the back of his mind and he became aware of two voices conversing in the background.

"…second time in a week he's been sent to hospital! I don't know what he's doing but if it has something to do with the Kyuubi, we have to take action," Tsunade's harsh, no nonsense tone of voice reached his ears.

A calmer voice, Jiraiya's, murmured, "I know you're worried about him Tsunade, but once he wakes up I'll ask him about what happened. From there we'll be able to figure out what to do."

"Naruto won't tell anybody if anything is wrong with him because he hates having people worry about him. You should know that by now," Tsunade snapped.

There was a creak of springs and a patter of footsteps against linoleum tiles. Jiraiya began speaking in the same soothing voice, "He'll be fine, Tsunade."

A long silence fell. Naruto felt slightly guilty for imposing on their very much private conversation, but couldn't help but feel curious that he was the subject of it.

"Go back to the Hokage tower and do some work, or something. I'll tell you immediately when he wakes up," he told her.

She nodded and obeyed his orders. Although she was the Hokage and should not have been ordered around, it felt nice to be the follower after such a long time. There was a soft click as the door shut behind her and the springs on Naruto's bed sank as Jiraiya sat at its foot.

"It's not polite to eavesdrop on other people, brat," Jiraiya commented offhandedly and Naruto's eyes flickered open guiltily.

"How'd you know?" Naruto grumbled in annoyance.

Jiraiya chuckled before explaining, "You always sleep with your mouth wide open but it was closed while we were talking."

Jiraiya patted Naruto's blanket covered shin familiarly. Naruto tried to bring himself into a sitting position but pain stabbed through every inch of his body like sterilized needles, over and over again. He eventually managed to rest his back against the headboard of his bed, feeling horribly tired.

"There's something wrong with you and – no, don't try and deny it – you're going to tell me what," he demanded with stern golden eyes.

With a difficult swallow and long period of silence, Naruto's cerulean eyes misted over with a deep inner struggle. Jiraiya's gaze bore into him, through him, waiting for an answer. When Naruto finally brought his eyes to Jiraiya's, they were darker than midnight with acceptance and a quiet revelation.

"If I tell you…you have to do something for me," Naruto murmured.

Before Jiraiya could ask what the condition was, Naruto had already continued, "The seal is breaking. The Kyuubi could break free at any time and he's tried to many times already. I've managed to hold him back, but it's getting harder. Soon, I won't be able to hold him back and he'll destroy Konoha and anything he gets his hands on."

"What can we do then?" Jiraiya questioned calmly.

There was another long silence. They held each other's gazes, a battle of wills, and the answer that came chilled Jiraiya to the bone.

"I need you to kill me."

* * *

**A/N:  
**Happy new year! 2008 is here (oh joy of joys) and it brings more wisdom (hopefully) with it. And maybe the end of Naruto! I don't know about you guys, but I'm about ready to kill Masashi Kishimoto after the new Naruto chapter. What the hell man, how could he do that? If he goes off and kills Kakashi or something equally stupid like make Sasuke and Sakur get together next, I will stop reading Naruto. I swear. Sasuke is my least favourite character now, the dick, after what he did in the new chapter. AHHH. I'M SO ANGRY. I HATE THE NEW CHAPTER. IT SHOULD NEVER HAVE HAPPENED.

This story is going to be done in about two chapters. I've got the ending all planned out but I'm sort of running out of steam, since I'm now writing DD! (Yes, rejoice! Selandora has gotten off of her ass and decided to write the promised sequel after half a year!)

**Selandora (the sickeningly emotional one you all must fear who hates the new chapter with a passion)**


	9. Chapter 8 : And Speak To Me

**Chapter 8: And Speak To Me**

_Find me here_

_And speak to me_

_I want to feel you_

_I need to hear you_

- Everything by Lifehouse

* * *

Silence.

Shock.

And the terrifying sense of déjà vu filled Jiraiya to the point he was brimming over with memories of a different story with a different hero, the same villain and a storyline far too similar to the one now.

"Jiraiya, please. You're the only person I trust enough with this," Naruto murmured.

_"Jiraiya, you're the only person I trust enough to look after my child."_

The toad sannin swallowed painfully and he closed his eyes. As much as he would have liked to force a smile and laugh, he knew Naruto was telling the truth- a truth that sought to rip another person out of his life.

Failure had made him a bitter man. He never hit it off with Tsunade, never brought back Orochimaru, never protected his student or teacher from a fate far too demanding of them and he had never turned around to fulfil the most important duty given to him by a person who was almost family. Here was another failure to smack him straight across the face, but this time he wasn't sure if he'd be able to take another one at so high a cost.

"Are you absolutely sure there's no other way?" Jiraiya asked.

Naruto nodded grimly and said, "I know I'm being really selfish, asking you to do this. I'd do it myself if I could, but I don't…well, I don't really like being alone. I've been alone since the beginning and I was hoping it wouldn't end that way."

What could Jiraiya say to that? He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he killed Naruto but at the same time he wouldn't be able to live with himself if the Kyuubi destroyed his student and the people he loved.

He hated this. He couldn't protect another student and he had already said that he never wanted Naruto to follow in Minato's footsteps. What could he do?

For a second, Jiraiya was filled with utmost hate for Minato. Why did he have to seal the Kyuubi into his _child_, a child Jiraiya had taught, a child Jiraiya had named, a child who was now asking him if he could end his life? Minato had no sense of foresight and Jiraiya hated him for that.

But Jiraiya had always known from the very start what his answer would be.

"Alright, brat."

He couldn't let somebody else kill Naruto. He would be betraying Minato and Naruto- and it scared him that if Jiraiya didn't kill him, Naruto would go off and find some stranger who cared nothing for him to finish the deed. Jiraiya didn't want Naruto to die at the mercy of someone who didn't know or care about the sun-kissed ball of energy. Naruto deserved so much better.

Relief flooded through Naruto and he felt his eyes grow hot to the point he had to glance upwards at the ceiling to keep the liquid from boiling over. His tongue was thick and his throat even thicker but he didn't trust himself to speak- at least not now. He was so relieved…he swallowed painfully, unsure of how to phrase his thanks and hoped that Jiraiya would understand since gratitude was emanating off of him in waves.

"Have you told Sakura?" Jiraiya questioned quietly.

Shaking his head, Naruto waited a moment before he answered, "No, I didn't think she'd take it well."

A dark humorous smile played at the corners of Jiraiya's lips as he shot Naruto a look that read clearly and sarcastically no-you-don't-say. Naruto let out a short, forced laugh, feigning a yawn to cover up the excess liquid in his eyes and rubbed at them with his knuckles.

"Well, I've come up with a plan. You and I are going to sneak out of Konoha to the Wave Country and I'm going to go about two kilometres into the ocean. You're going to attach an exploding tag to me and set it off when I'm in position and then run for your life back to Konoha," Naruto explained, trying to keep the tone light as if he wasn't talking about the way Jiraiya was going to kill him.

A frown creased Jiraiya's forehead as he pressed, "Why can't I just stab you at close quarters?"

_Ah, shit._ Naruto glanced up again at the ceiling, his eyes boiling over with liquid and he felt like a complete and utter idiot. What was wrong with him? He knew that he was probably going to end up dead at the end of all of this, but the reality of it was only just starting to sink in. He didn't want to know what Jiraiya was thinking (though it was probably along the lines of 'that cry baby') and had to wait a few moments again before he could speak.

"When I…I die, some of the Kyuubi's chakra will explode out of me and destroy anything near me so you'll die if you're too close," Naruto explained, his voice breaking.

There was a tense silence in which Jiraiya nodded, hands gripped in front of him until the knuckles bled white. He said, "There's a place in Wave Country where there's a lot of rock cliffs, if you go there you won't have to go as far out as two kilometres because the force of the explosion will be spent breaking down the cliffs. You'll be able to see the shore from there."

_You'll be able to see me when you die. You won't die alone._

The meaning wasn't lost on Naruto. He smiled through blurry eyes, letting out another awkward laugh while nodding dumbly and ignoring the pain in his throat. He managed, "Alright, then we'll go there."

"Tsunade and Sakura won't buy it if you just disappear one day. They'll send a search team after you quickly so unless you come up with a good excuse to leave, you might as well forget it," Jiraiya pointed out.

"So…I have to lie to them?" Naruto asked in a whisper.

Jiraiya elaborated, "Lie like a fox."

Naruto nodded absentmindedly, thoughts whirring through his head. He questioned, "Am I good to go out of the hospital?"

Jiraiya shrugged and said, "Tsunade said you're perfectly fine, so I don't see why not…"

Once Naruto was out the door, Jiraiya sank onto the bed with glazed eyes. For a few moments, he was completely still and silent. Then suddenly he lashed out with an arm in frustration and the bedpost he hit shattered into pieces. The shards scattered across the floor, like the hidden pieces of what could have become of a life.

Naruto left the hospital as quickly as he could with one objective in mind. The library loomed towards him and he pushed through the double doors, heading towards the foreign countries section. His fingertips traced the spines of books as he looked for the one he wanted and he hefted a great dark blue one that made the table shudder as he put it down and flicked through it.

His eyes fell upon the title at the top of the page and he knew immediately that it was the one he wanted.

_List of Whirlpool Shinobi

* * *

_

The water was darker than ink, darker than midnight and darker than the thoughts running through Minato's head. The water splashed underfoot as he made his way towards a great, towering jail cell that held a crimson prisoner who had been expecting him since the first control lapse.

Minato had run out of ideas all except one. One that would definitely work, but one that he could never bring himself to accept. Time was running out, Naruto was right, but there had to be another way out. Death was never the answer, especially the death of his child.

**"So…Minato. Why are you suddenly gracing me with your presence?" **A tainted voice, smug with triumph asked.

His hands clenched tightly, half moon wounds forming in his palms as blood dribbled out of them like angry tears. The fox simply grinned with pride, knowing that he was the very cause of such frustration, and sickening glee raced through his veins like heroin. He wanted to see Minato suffer, see him suffer like he had for years on end. The man was still quiet but Kyuubi had been able to read him better than anyone else (he was, after all, immortal and had had all the time in the world).

He could see the anger in the way Minato avoided his gaze and kept his sapphire eyes trained to the floor, his broad chest rose fast with his quick breathing and the blood pinged as it dripped from his hands onto the water. But Minato wasn't paying attention.

"_What do you want from me, Kyuubi?" _he asked, in a deadly whisper.

The grin widened and he dragged a gigantic claw against the bars of his cage languorously, taunting as the bars chimed, "**I want to see you suffer."**

"_Then why have you dragged my son into this? If you want to see me suffer, leave Naruto out of this."_

Kyuubi's very presence filled him with disgust. "**Oh, but it's so **_**fun **_**toying with your son. What would you do if I were to suddenly take control of him one day and make him watch as I kill all of his friends and torture his precious little Sakura? He would be so overcome with his grief that he'd have no choice but to kill himself, and I'd love to see your reaction as he stabs a kunai into his chest as the light leaves his eyes."**

The teeth in his mouth glinted as his grin widened. Minato's breathing was loud now, filling the chamber with its sharp inhales and exhales, and slowly, very slowly, he raised his head to meet Kyuubi's eyes.

"…_you sick fuck," _Minato growled.

Then suddenly, Kyuubi jerked with surprise as the Fourth pounded on the bars of his cage and made them tremble. The sewers shook with the force and Kyuubi's upper lip twisted into a snarl, not nearly as vicious as the look on Minato's face.

"_Don't you dare touch my son. If you do anything to harm Naruto, I'll kill you,"_he hissed, sapphire eyes wide with rage. He banged again on the bars of the cage and a dent formed in one, bending it in two with a horrendous crack.

"_**I'll kill you!"**_

Kyuubi slammed a gigantic paw on the waterlogged floor of the sewer and the trembling that followed was twice as devastating as Minato's. The look in his eyes was a mixture of pleasure and triumph as he shrieked, **"You can't kill me. **_**Nobody can kill me!**_**"**

A gigantic claw was forced in between the bars of the jail cell at an astounding speed towards Minato. He didn't so much as flinch as it approached and he merely blinked when a few strands of golden hair fell onto the floor and floated indecisively on the murky water skin.

"_You're wrong," _he said, eyes flashing blue steel.

The Kyuubi merely watched him, the grin dying on his face.

And Minato thought of his son, the Naruto who had been named after a hero in Jiraiya's book who was selfless, caring and talented in more ways than one in the hopes he would grow to become like that- only to fulfil those hopes and so much more. Minato so desperately wished Kushina could have seen their son now.

"_Naruto will definitely defeat you."

* * *

_

When Sakura returned to the apartment, she was surprised to see Naruto's navy blue travelling bag by the doorway. A strange shock and fear gripped her chest for the slightest of moments before she laughed it off inwardly; he was probably just going on a mission as all respectable ninja did. And he would come back.

He would _definitely_ come back.

"_What would you do if I died?"_

Shaking her head to rid herself off the terrifying feeling of foreboding, she swallowed painfully and lay down on Naruto's bed. It smelled of sweat and ramen, smells that belonged to Naruto, and she closed her eyes. She was barely aware of the bathroom door sliding open, or the footsteps that approached her, but rather felt Naruto coming towards her.

A strong arm pulled her gently into a broad chest and Naruto's stubborn chin rested on her shoulder, his nose buried in her neck. He exhaled slowly, his warm breath spreading over her skin like trickling water and she lifted a hand to touch his whiskered cheek. Her fingertips traced the tattoos there and he closed his eyes, completely relaxed.

If he could take any one moment with him and keep it in his mind when he died, this wouldn't be so bad a choice, he decided. Pushing those thoughts out of his head, his grip on her tightened slightly, as if to keep her with him for a little longer.

"You're going on a mission?" she asked quietly, fingers twirling in his blonde hair.

He hummed at the back of his throat in confirmation and she twisted around to face him. Resting her cheek against his chest, she instinctively held him and he sighed, placing a hand on the small of her back. Kissing the top of her head, he turned to gaze out of the window at the burning red sunset. The corners of his mouth quirked upwards in a humourless smile as he mentally noted you couldn't get better sunsets any damn where else.

Then it sank in it was probably the last one he'd ever see.

"Who's going with you?" her voice ghosted across his bare arm.

He shook his head, running his fingers through her hair as he lied, "It's a solo mission to Wave Country. A rank."

"How long until you come back?" she asked.

_Never _his mind supplied, but he couldn't bring himself to say it. He was scared of what she would do and even more scared that she'd convince him to stay alive, so he lied.

"Three days."

"Any chance of cutting that down to two?" she teased lightly and he kissed her cheek.

"Maybe. Depends on what's waiting for me back in Konoha," he said evasively.

She grinned and told him, "Well, there'll probably be a beautiful woman waiting for you inside your apartment."

"Oh? And what will this beautiful woman do once I get back?" he questioned, moving so that he was on top of her. His hands sunk into the bed either side of her head and his knees at either side of her waist.

She met his gaze with a strange light in her eyes, saying, "This beautiful woman will probably have to force you to go to the hospital for your check up and then make you write up your mission report so you can give it to Tsunade-sama."

Naruto let out a loud sigh, sitting up and moaning, "Damn, that's no fun, I'll just have to take my time…"

Sakura pulled him back down so that their foreheads touched. Her green eyes captivated Naruto's blue ones and he somehow knew those eyes would always be the death of him.

She murmured against his lips, "And this beautiful woman will probably also be waiting to hold you in her arms again and tell you that she loves you so much that she wouldn't be able to live without you."

And Naruto's heart broke.

She pulled him into a kiss but he kept his eyes closed the whole time. He knew that if he opened them she'd see his tears.

* * *

Dripping, warm water woke Sakura as it trickled down the side of her neck.

There was a tiny, tiny gasp as the body she was held close to convulsed slightly. She moved to touch Naruto's hand where it was slung over her waist and she held it in the darkness, her slim fingers contrasting against his thick ones. His fingers tightened around hers as his lips kissed her neck and the top of her spine repeatedly as the liquid trickled across her skin.

"Sakura," he said breathlessly.

"Is it your stomach again?" she asked in a murmur.

The pain was ripping through him like a tornado but it hurt so much more this time because _this _was the alarm he had been waiting for, _this _was the wake up call that told him his life was no longer his to control or enjoy. _This _was the end of his life as the Naruto who loved Sakura and the start of his new life as Naruto who died to save Konoha. He hated this and he pulled her closer, trying to hold onto his old life because he was scared of it slipping away when all he really wanted was more time.

"_Sakura,_" he repeated her name, desperately.

"Naruto?" her voice was a mere whisper.

"I love you, Sakura," he began, his hand tightening around hers, his arms pulling her closer and his lips pressing against the back of her neck.

"I love you so much, I don't want to lose you," he said frantically and she turned to face him, unable to see him in the darkness.

"I'm going to go get you some water," Sakura whispered but his arms pulled her back to his chest.

"No!" he yelled and then his voice softened, "No, not yet…I want you to stay, just a little longer."

_There's not enough time, there's never enough time, but why the fuck is it that everything seems to have a damn expiry date around here and it's all gone before you blink-_

"Don't leave me, Sakura…don't leave me…" he begged.

Her hands touched his wet cheeks and he put his hands over them, pressing them closer to him as he continued, "I don't want you to die Sakura but I'm so scared, I don't want you to die-"

"Naruto, calm down," her voice trembled.

"Sakura, Sakura, I love you, you know that, and it hurts, but I don't want to lose you, but I'm scaredI'm_scared_I'msofuckingscaredthat_-"_

"I'm not going to die, Naruto," she told him firmly.

"No – not you – never you, you're meant to be invincible and I'd never let you die first. You're meant to live so much longer than me since you're not a monster, you're not a demon and you're beautiful- _you're beautiful, Sakura_ – and you need to live."

By this point she was crying.

He continued, "But I would give anything to grow old with you and watch the sun set every day and make you laugh all the time because I love your laugh, and your smile and I don't want to ever see you sad again-"

"But I don't want to ever leave that all behind because I love you and I don't want to leave you, _never_," he pulled her close and she buried her eyes in her neck.

"I'm so scared," he whispered, and he meant it.

"What are you talking about Naruto?"

"I love you, Sakura."

* * *

"How's Naruto doing?" Tsunade asked, her eyes fixed on the paperwork in front of her as she scribbled away.

Jiraiya sighed and leaned against the wall. _You could at least look at me, you know. _He answered, "He's fine. A little tired though."

"That's not surprising, considering what he's going through," she murmured, nodding to her papers as she signed another document and placed it on a growing pile.

_Oh, if only you knew_, Jiraiya thought.

Silence fell over the room as she worked and he watched her, picking up the beautiful little details. The play of light on her highlighted features, the contrast between her hazel brown eyes and the purple diamond on her forehead, the way her hair seemed to strategically fall out of their cute pigtails to frame a beautiful, ever youthful face. He smiled softly and was so glad she was still there because he wanted to make sure that there would still be someone with him once Naruto was gone.

Once Naruto was gone…

"Can I see your real face?" he asked, distracting himself from his depressing train of thought.

She finally looked at him, but it was a sharp, flat look. Her pen clinked as she put it down and she told him, "No, I look ugly without the jutsu."

He looked at her contemplatively.

"I think you'd look more beautiful without it," he stated plainly.

And it was true. He could see imagine the tiny little crow's feet at the corners of her eyes and the lines around her mouth from where she had laughed and smiled too much.

She paused, unsure of what to say to that. A slight flush embraced her features but he quickly looked back down at her papers, mumbling, "You're _not_ seeing my real face, Jiraiya."

"Oh come on. Grant an old man his last request," he joked.

Her eye twitched and she growled, "I wish it was."

He laughed off her insult with a laugh that she failed to notice was too hollow, too forced. He had always been great at pretending (all failures were, after all) and she had always been bad at telling the truth, which was why she had been hurt so many times. He continued watching her with that same fond, nostalgic look but she didn't notice, her eyes scanning over the tiny black print quickly.

"Would you ever marry me, Tsunade?" he asked.

She froze and said nothing for a moment. Then she let out a long sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose and meeting his eyes with a tired gaze.

"No, Jiraiya. I wouldn't."

A long silence fell. It was an eternity before he closed his eyes and smiled a bitter smile, nodding in acceptance.

* * *

**Last Chapter Preview: Everything**

"_**Oh yeah, forgot to fill you in. I'm going to die today."**_

"I don't think I've told you this before, but I really wish you were alive."

"_I lied. I would."_

"**Don't forget."**

_And suddenly it was hurting too much and he couldn't breathe but he knew he was dying, __**dying**__-_

"No…no, no, no, Naruto, no…**NO**!"


	10. Chapter 9 : Everything

_You are the strength_

_That keeps me walking_

_You are the hope_

_That keeps me trusting_

_You are the life_

_To my soul_

_You are my purpose_

_You're __**everything.**_

_- _Everything by Lifehouse, the song that started it all

* * *

"I don't think I've told you this before, but I really wish you were alive," Naruto told Minato.

Minato blinked in surprise at the unexpected statement. Naruto sat down on the floor, staring up at the ceiling and Minato sat down beside him, their thighs touching. Minato leaned back on his hands, staring at the pale yellow as it swirled around in his mind's eye.

"_Yeah, I do too," _Minato agreed and a smile pulled at the corners of Naruto's lips.

"I mean, you can be annoying sometimes but I guess that's what parents do, right?" Naruto asked.

"_Hey, you be quiet. I might just disappear one day and you'll regret all the nasty things you're saying about me now," _the Fourth said in a mock serious tone.

Oh the irony. "Yeah, yeah, dad."

"_See, this is what I get for not being able to talk to you for seventeen years. No respect at all."_

"Hey, I was just wondering…" Naruto ventured, sitting up. "Do you want to know what happened to mom?"

Silence fell.

It looked as though Minato's entire world had frozen, his eyes glazed over with shock and he had stopped breathing. When he started moving again, he found it hard to swallow and was sure he had heard wrongly.

"_What?" _he asked in a whisper, scared that if he spoke any louder the truth would be ripped away from him before he heard it.

"Mom. I found out what happened to her," Naruto explained.

Minato nodded slowly. He was terrified of the answer that would come, but was even more terrified of not knowing.

"They forced her back to Whirlpool after the Kyuubi was defeated. The council made her leave me here because technically, since I had been born in Konoha, I belonged in Konoha. Mist attacked Whirlpool soon afterwards and she fought against them, killing one hundred and sixty four ninjas. She died during the attack," Naruto said quietly.

Minato said nothing, taking in the information.

A smile finally twitched at the corners of his lips as he said, _"That's my Kushina, alright. Your mother never would have accepted it if she didn't go down with a fight."_

Naruto nodded, watching Minato. As he did, he saw Minato's eyes tinge pink and his eyelids flutter open and close a bit more quickly than was necessary. Minato's Adams apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed painfully and avoided Naruto's gaze.

When Naruto hesitantly embraced his father, Minato's body shuddered. He pulled Naruto close and shut his sapphire eyes tightly.

"_Thank you Naruto. Thank you."_

* * *

There were only a few people who could wake up one morning and could truthfully say they were going to die that day. Naruto had just been added to this small handful of people and he wondered if all of them had felt just as insecure as he did right then. Hours had never passed so quickly, and he swore that somebody had pressed the fast forward button on his life's remote control. Everything was moving too quickly.

The sky was a dreary grey and swollen with rain clouds, a prelude to sorrow that would inevitably come. His glassy sapphire eyes stared out of a window without really taking anything in, his mind whirring with thoughts and regrets and all the things he wouldn't be able to do after this.

_After this…_Naruto mused.

What would come next? A tunnel of light that led to heaven? Reincarnation? Or would everything just end and he'd cease to exist at all?

And, what would happen to Minato? Would he take Minato with him, wherever he was going? Or would Minato be left behind, trapped in a golden room with no doors and a dead demon?

"Naruto, I'm going now," a voice called.

It took him a while to process Sakura's words, but the moment he did, a blinding fear raced through him. This was the last time he'd see her, _the very last time_, and when she walked out the door, he'd be letting go of her forever. He ran to her, a sense of urgency about him and reached her as she put on her shoes.

She looked so beautiful, he thought, even though her pastel pink hair was mussed and she still had morning dust in one eye. She smiled one of her breathtaking Sakura smiles, the ones that softened her face and made her beryl eyes shine with a captivating light, a smile that was so beautiful that you always smiled back. As Naruto smiled back this time, her smile broke his heart in two because he knew that she would be crying soon.

He kissed her forehead, a forehead that was a bit too wide but had always looked fine to him. He reached for her small hands and his large ones dwarfed hers. She squeezed his hands gently.

"Stay safe on the mission, okay?" She said it like a question, waiting for his reassurance that he'd stay alive and come back to her.

He couldn't bring himself to force a verbal reply and managed something that wasn't quite a nod and not quite a shake of the head either. It seemed to satisfy her though, because her Sakura smile grew and she kissed him chastely on the cheek.

He hesitated, tensing as she kissed him. She began to pull away in confusion but he suddenly grabbed at her, pulling her close.

He kissed her like a drowning man struggling for air that only she could give, desperate and terrified. His fingers threaded through her hair, memorizing its length and its texture, trying to burn the feel of it to his fingertips. There were so many things he wanted to remember about her, the way her right eye would twitch whenever she was angry, the way she lowered her chin and tried to hide behind her hair when she was about to cry and the way she would say she loved him, in a whisper that rang so honest and true in his ears.

They broke apart for breath, but Naruto was still clinging onto her. He pressed his forehead to hers and their eyelashes fluttered open and close in blonde-pastel synchronization. His hands cupped the sides of her neck and he tried to fight the familiar heavy burn in his eyes.

He whispered against her lips, "Don't forget."

She smiled a confused smile that knitted her eyebrows together and laughed nervously, "Don't forget what?"

_Me._

And he kissed her again, feeling every millimetre of her lips pressed against his own, and it was so soft. Her hands rose to stroke the whiskers across his face and he felt her smile against his mouth. Every part of their bodies melded together like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle and he knew he'd never feel more whole than he did right now.

It ended too quickly.

She grinned at him, her lips bruised from their kisses and eyes shining with a light he had never been able to place. Her hands slipped down from his cheeks to hold his hands as she walked towards to the door, keeping her eyes fixed on him as she went. When they reached it, she turned the knob and pulled the door open. A rush of cold air entered the room, chilling Naruto to the bone.

"I'd better go now, I'm going to be late for work," she said lightly.

Rising to her tiptoes, she kissed him on the cheek and pulled her hands away. Naruto held on a moment too long and his gaze burned intensely as he stared into her jade green eyes.

He finally let go and she left him, alone.

He was barely aware of where he was going when he stumbled outside of the house half an hour later, anything to get out of that house too full of memories of her. His feet dragged across the cement that became dirt, that then became grass. The gate he passed through was already open and there were slabs of stone all around him, inscribed with hundreds of names but he only wanted to see one.

"You're a real bastard, you know that?"

Maybe he was going insane. Naruto must have been, to be talking to a gravestone. He sat down and leaned against its side, staring up at the grim sky. Glancing at the gravestone again, he was a little disappointed that it hadn't reared up and snapped back at him.

"You're probably sitting there in your grave thinking, _what the hell's the dobe on about? _Or something like that. I don't know, I never could tell what was going in your stupid head," he continued.

Naruto lowered his head and managed a small laugh, "Right about now, you'd probably agree and say that I'm too stupid to understand a genius brain like yours. I'm kind of glad you can't really hear this because this must seem really pathetic."

"Yeah, you're a real bastard," Naruto repeated, with more conviction this time.

He swore loudly. "I _would _have asked you to look after Sakura for me. I mean…after I'm gone and all. But you just had to go kick the bucket, didn't you? Damn it, Sasuke, you really suck."

"Oh yeah, forgot to fill you in. I'm going to die today. The seal screwed up or something stupid like that and I couldn't find a way to fix it. Well, I did actually, but the only way to fix it is to kill myself. Nobody else except me and Ero-sennin know about it, and he only knows because he's the one who's going to kill me," he explained. Naruto imagined Sasuke before him, stoic and uninterested, but listening nevertheless.

"I couldn't tell Sakura. I don't know, every time I decided to tell her my throat would freeze up and I'd switch the topic. You really missed out on a great woman, bastard. People say all this really sappy stuff about love and how it's the best thing that's ever going to happen to you. It kind of sucks, but it's true."

"I'm going to ask Sai and Kakashi to look after her. I hope she isn't too sad. I mean, there are other fish out there in the sea right?"

Naruto let out a long sigh. "Alright, fine. I'll be absolutely honest with you, since you're the only person I can tell who isn't going to _really _make a difference right now. Sorry, but it's true."

"I'm being really selfish saying this but…I don't want Sakura to ever love anyone else but me. I know nobody else will ever be able to love her or make her happy like I do, and she knows that too. It hurts, even thinking about her being with somebody else but at the same time-"

"I want her to be happy."

"If I wasn't going to die, I'd probably be buying her a diamond ring right now and asking her to marry me. Yeah, yeah, she could be used as a weakness against me, but I'd protect her. I'd protect her no matter what."

A humourless smile stretched across Naruto's face as he pulled his knees to his chest. "Oh yeah, I didn't get Hokage like I said I would. You're probably laughing your head off right now since I used to rub it in your face all the time. I've been working hard for seventeen years to get Hokage and well…looks like it wasn't meant to be, huh?"

The rain began to fall suddenly and torrentially, like stones upon Naruto's back. He lowered his head as the water plastered the blonde hair to his forehead. The water on his face was hot as it streamed down his cheeks.

"You know what, Sasuke?"

"I don't really want to die."

Life was something so many people took for granted.

Naruto knew, because he had once shared the same mindset. He had once been so willing to throw it all away, but now all he wanted to do was hold on. Was it possible to want to live and die at the same time? Possible or not, that was exactly what Naruto wanted.

He wanted to turn around and go to Minato. Maybe he'd have another plan, a plan that would actually work, a plan that would let him live and stay with Sakura so he could give her that two karat diamond engagement ring and a beautiful white wedding. He didn't speak at all and swallowing was difficult now, because it nearly always brought hot liquid to his eyes.

Was he selfish for wanting to live?

Yes, he was. He knew he was. He wanted to live, but that meant that hundreds of thousands of people would die because of him. He wanted to put his life above everyone else's. A true Hokage would die for his country. Naruto would die for his country.

"You ready to go?" a quiet voice beside him asked.

Naruto looked up, his eyes took a while to focus on the man who had spoken. The white of his hair registered first and Naruto nodded with a weak smile. They stood up from their seats in Ichiraku and Naruto stared down at the bowl of ramen in front of him.

How many times had he sat at this ramen stand with Team 7? How many memories did he have here? Iruka had taken him here before his graduation and paid for every single bowl of ramen he ate when nobody else would, Sasuke, Sai and Sakura came here with him after every mission when their wallets were fat with their rewards, they would take Kakashi here to try and see his mask and-

"Naruto," Jiraiya murmured.

He jolted to life, barely aware that he had been staring at the bowl of ramen for a full five minutes. The white haired sannin turned and began to walk through Konoha and Naruto followed him, as if in a daze. He began to look at everything as he walked, trying to burn the images into his mind. He wished he had taken a camera with him, he would take pictures of everything even if it was just the random tree on the road if it meant he could remember being alive. He felt dead and he hated it.

Then they reached the gates.

He went through silently, but then he started trembling.

He was out of Konoha and he was going to die. He was out of Konoha and he wasn't the Hokage, he was _never _going to be the Hokage and he'd never get to change all the stupid rules, Neji would still be branch family, ninja would always be emotionless tools and the children would always _always _be abused, he'd never see his face on the Hokage mountain and all those people would never acknowledge him-

Naruto's voice was a mere whisper, "Do you think…"

"Do you think I would've been a good Hokage?" he asked.

The gravel crunched underfoot for a while. Jiraiya finally said truthfully, "You would have been the best."

A silence fell.

Naruto tilted his head upwards to the sky, swallowing painfully again. With closed eyes, a grin blossomed on his face and he yelled loudly, "I was going to be Hokage!"

"I was going to be the best! The best ever!" he continued at the top of his voice.

"My face was going to be on the mountain, next to baa-chan's and everybody would accept me-"

"**Rokudaime Uzumaki Naruto! Believe it!" **he screamed and his voice broke at the end of his sentence.

His grin trembled as the tears rolled down his cheeks.

* * *

"Sakura, can you please pass this on to Naruto when he gets back tonight?" Tsunade asked without looking at her apprentice, a manila envelope in hand as she scribbled away.

Stopping, Sakura stared at her teacher. She began, "Shishou, Naruto left yesterday morning on that A ranked mission you sent him on. He said he wouldn't be back for three days."

Tsunade stopped what she was doing and frowned, putting her papers and the envelope down on the tabletop. She said, "I didn't send Naruto on an A ranked mission. Jiraiya told me that he would be accompanying Naruto to Suna to visit Gaara."

"That's impossible, Naruto told me he was on a solo mission to Wave," Sakura argued and Tsunade sighed, leaning back in her chair.

"Are you absolutely certain he told you he was headed to Wave?" Tsunade pressed Sakura and she nodded firmly.

"Did Naruto say or do anything strange before that?" she questioned again.

- **Sakura, what would you do if I died? **_and his eyes were burning sapphires as they gazed at her seriously -_

**- not you – never you, you're meant to be invincible and I'd never let you die first **_and his breath was heavy in the dark as he gasped beside her in the darkness, hands scrabbling to hold onto her as if she'd slip through his fingertips – _

- **don't forget **_and he kissed her like it was the last time -_

"I think…I think he's in danger," Sakura whispered, her wide eyes meeting Tsunade's narrow ones.

Tsunade said, "You don't have much time if you want to help him. You need to leave immediately."

* * *

"Wait for me, Naruto," Jiraiya ordered his student and Naruto stopped where he stood.

Naruto could smell the sea spray now and see the white sand of the beach through the trees as the waves lapped at its edge, beckoning seductively. As he turned around to try and better see his place of death, Jiraiya quietly summoned Gamakichi and handed a letter to him.

"You know what you have to do. Show Sakura where to go," he murmured and the orange frog stared at Jiraiya for a long time before his gaze travelled to the forlorn looking Naruto a few metres off.

"_He was a nice kid, y'know. Dad actually did quite like him, said that he's definitely Minato's kid," _Gamakichi commented.

"He is, isn't he?" Jiraiya agreed and Gamakichi frowned up at Jiraiya.

"_You know, you don't have to do this. You could just walk away and the kid probably wouldn't think any the less of you," _he said.

The white haired sannin grinned at the small frog, tapping its head with two fingers fondly as he explained, "I'm being given a chance to make things right for once. I'm not giving that up for anything. And anyways, Naruto's my student, I might as well see him to the end."

Gamakichi continued frowning. He finally tapped his webbed foot against the ground in frustration before jumping onto Jiraiya's crimson shoulder. In an uncharacteristic show of affection, he closed his eyes and rubbed his rough head against Jiraiya's neck.

"_See you later, big guy," _Gamakichi murmured before disappearing in an orange flash.

Jiraiya turned back to Naruto. Their eyes met, but neither said anything.

"Thanks-" and Naruto's voice broke again as a thick lump formed in his throat.

The sannin sighed loudly and embraced Naruto tightly. He said quietly, "Your dad would be proud."

Naruto remembered Minato didn't know what he was doing, that he was betraying his own father. The thought stabbed through him like a needle of pain and he nodded aimlessly, up and down, simply because he was unable to do anything else.

"I'm proud of you, Naruto."

When Jiraiya finally released Naruto, he looked across the endless ocean and handed Naruto an exploding tag. Naruto stared at it dumbly for a moment before taking it and looking up at Jiraiya again.

He managed a weak smile and tried lightly, "So, I guess this is goodbye, hm?"

"Oh, just go on and get going before you make me cry too," Jiraiya muttered, glancing away from his pupil.

And it was true, his amber eyes were glazed over with something Naruto could never have imagined on the silver elite. He paused, trying to find something to say but found that all the words had been drained clean out of his head like a sink with a pulled plug. Naruto turned and ran across the ocean, moulding chakra to his feet. He kept running and running, until Jiraiya was a tiny red pinprick on the pale beach and swallowed as he came to a stop. He attached the explosive tag to the front of his shirt with trembling hands, right above his heart for a painless death.

The chakra below him rippled as it kept him standing. When had he learned to do this exercise? With Jiraiya, he was sure, some few years ago when he had thought he was invincible and had only thought of Sasuke. Invincibility was something so easily snatched away, like Sasuke had been, and then the numbing, cold wind blew.

He took a deep breath in.

_**Sakura, Sakura, **_**I love you, **_**I'm so sorry but this is something I have to do. Everyone, **_**don't forget, **_**don't forget I was the best Hokage that never was and **_**I'm going to miss you all so damn much-**

And he raised his hand, a signal to let Jiraiya know that he was ready.

He waited for the sizzling of the explosive tag and waited for the flames that would consume him like a starved animal, waited for the agonized screams of Kyuubi and Minato's pleading. But none of that ever came.

Instead, Jiraiya appeared in front of him. He was wielding a kunai.

"No, **don't, you'll die**-**" **Naruto screamed-

But the kunai had already pierced his heart and he could suddenly speak no more. He stumbled forwards, clinging to Jiraiya's shirt as the lifeblood seeped out of him and felt a pair of arms enclose around him. He wanted to struggle, move away because Jiraiya was going to _die_ if he stayed like this-

And Jiraiya kept on holding onto Naruto even as the life faded from his cerulean eyes. The crimson red chakra began to burn him, but he kept holding on even as the skin melted away from his bones and he threw his head back to scream in pain, because Naruto had always been the son he had never had.

* * *

"Why won't you tell me what's going on?" Sakura demanded angrily as Gamakichi ran ahead of her.

Suddenly Gamakichi stopped and turned his head to the sky, silently.

"_It's finished," _he said quietly.

An explosion ripped through the forest, the force throwing the two of them back at least twenty feet. It was crimson, crimson chakra and suddenly, Sakura knew exactly what was finished.

Sakura was running and screaming, screaming and crying as she ran, ran even though her entire body was telling her to stop, ran harder even though she was nearly out of chakra. No, no, _no,_ it wasn't finished, it was **never **finished-

It was as though Naruto was calling her and she knew exactly where to go. He was still alive, he had to be, _he was invincible_ and he was all she had and it would kill her if he was dead. Her feet slapped against the water in the stony silence of the world around her and out on the ocean it felt as though time had stopped forever.

She came to a halt. There was nothing, nothing but dark water, but there had to be _something, _he _had to be there-_

A flash of orange, a flash of yellow and suddenly she grabbed at it blindly. She pulled it out of the water and it was deadweight – _not dead, __**not dead**__ – _and held it to her tightly.

A whiskered face stared back at her through sightless blue eyes.

This was a joke. It had to be a joke. She shook Naruto's shoulders, waiting for him to wake up and laugh at her. He didn't move at all and his head lolled sickeningly to the left. She shook him again, harder and when he didn't move, she shook him again, and again, and again as small frustrated whimpers escaped from her mouth.

"Wake up, Naruto," she choked, "No, no, stop, this isn't funny."

The blood continued pouring out of him regardless and he still hadn't moved. Her vision was blurred from the tears and it was getting harder to breathe as she pleaded, "Please, Naruto…Naruto, don't go, please…"

She kissed him once, and then twice, and then three times more as the tears streamed down her face. She kept kissing him, touching his face, waiting for him to move but damn it, _why wasn't he breathing-_

A ragged sob escaped from her mouth, "_I love you."_

Her hands clenched around his shirt and she buried her head in his chest. There was no heartbeat. He was too cold. He would never move again.

She screamed.


	11. Epilogue : This Is

Naruto is running.

His vision is blurred and he can feel the walls shaking around him, a resolve shattering rumble, _rumble_, and his heart pumps in time with his frantic breathing. Everything is falling apart around him and he might not get there fast enough, he might not save Minato and he's scared and he promised that he would **never **leave him behind.

A sound, like that of a heart breaking, of anguish itself, of a monster's final descent rings throughout the sewers and reverberates off the walls until it rings in his ears, a tortured, mangled howl. He runs faster, _faster_ and the tears are running hot and fast down his face as his breaths come in short gasps.

Where's the door? He can't find it, he can't find Minato and everything's falling apart. There's not enough time, he's going to die and he can't – he won't – leave Minato behind but-

"Minato!"he screams, turning corners again and again only to come face to face with the same tunnel, the same darkness.

He falls to the floor as another quake, more dramatic and dangerous than the last time shakes the walls of the sewer and bricks fall from the walls. They splatter into the water and spray water everywhere mockingly, but Naruto can't bring himself to his feet. It's over, he thinks, it's over and he hasn't found Minato yet.

**- that's my ninja way **_he proclaimed with a bold grin and they had laughed as if he had been making a joke when he had been absolutely serious-_

He pulls himself to his feet and runs again. He turns another corner and sees a door- Minato's door.

His hand instantly grabs at the brass doorknob and he turns it. It doesn't open. It must be a mistake, he tells himself, and he tries again and again, but it stays locked. He bangs on the door, screaming his dad's name as the seal continues breaking.

"Dad! Dad, open the door!" he screams, trying to force the door open.

"**I won in the end after all, Minato. You couldn't save your son!" **The Kyuubi is laughing, screaming and howling.

"_This is his choice," _another voice, strong like thunder and as warm as the sun.

There's only one person with that voice.

Naruto runs again. He runs the way he came and doesn't even realize that everything is falling, fading into nothing behind him without a single sound, a silent death.

"_This is his love."_

He's crying again like he did when he was seven and they all screamed at him _demondemondemon_. Only this time it's different, he's not crying in pain at the loneliness or because he can't find acceptance. He's crying because Minato **understands.**

He bursts into the Kyuubi's cell. All the paper seals are falling off, twenty by twenty, and litter the flooded floor beneath Naruto's feet. There's a pair of angry red eyes that only can see one person, and that one person is who Naruto needs.

"Dad," he sobs in relief, "Dad-"

And he runs, a sprint that seems to take forever even though he's running faster than he's ever run before. The man turns towards him, his white cloak swirling around him as his eyes echo blue oceans, blue skies and he spreads his arms wide.

_This is family and he finally has it, __**this is family-**_

He sees a light and nothingness swallows him whole.

* * *

Tsunade lies.

She lies the moment she sees the tattered red jacket and blue, blue necklace in the frog's hands. It's always been easier that way and there's a need for her to be strong now, Hokages aren't and never will be weepy eyed women. Gamakichi looks up at her expectantly, waiting for a breakdown or a question as to why he's holding these things. It doesn't come and she sits there, waiting seemingly patiently when she's really bursting with emotions underneath.

Gamakichi takes a deep breath in and he begins to talk, _"Jiraiya and Naruto died ten minutes ago."_

It's hard for her to keep a straight face and she focuses on a wall behind him. She can feel the scream forcing its way up the back of her throat but she fights it down and simply nods.

The frog's face contorts in what could have been pain, could have been anger. This woman didn't even care what had happened to the men who loved her?

"Please leave now," Tsunade tells him and he doesn't notice her brown eyes are empty and dull.

Gamakichi nearly argues with her. _Jiraiya deserved better than you, _he wants to shout, _Jiraiya should never have died for you- _

Instead he merely hands her Jiraiya's final letter. She takes it with a strained look on her face, as if it physically hurts her to touch something that belongs to him. Gamakichi leaves the jacket and the necklace on her table and leaves silently.

Her fingers tremble as she rips open the letter, her eyes beginning to blur with hot, hot tears. The letter opens with a sickening tear and there's a quiet clink of metal on wood as something falls on the table, something she's nearly afraid to look at.

It's a ring.

She stares at it for a long time, as if she can't fully comprehend the situation. A _ring? _There's a note inside the envelope.

**It'll always be yours, even if you don't want it.**

She slips the ring onto her finger and holds it close to her, closing her eyes. _What could have been_ a man with hair of clouds who asked if he could see her true face and she had said yes _what could have been _a man with hair of clouds who had asked if she would marry him and she had said yes-

_This is what almost was, this is a __**consequence-**_

Tsunade is a good liar.

She just never knows when to lie.

* * *

Rain pours in a relentless shower, drenching a roseate woman.

No one will ever be able to tell where the rain ends and the tears begin on her wet face. Sai has already tried to make her leave the memorial stone but that had ended with screams and fighting and more tears. She stands in the rain, simply staring at the names.

_Uzumaki Naruto_

_Uchiha Sasuke_

These are her boys. These are her boys that are no longer here anymore, that always ran ahead and left her behind. She had spent an entire lifetime catching up but they had gone to a place she couldn't follow, unless it meant losing her own life.

She's malnourished and scarily similar to a skeleton, her green eyes gaunt and empty. She looks as though a strong wind will simply pick her up and sweep her away to the other side of the world, but it scares her friends that she stopped caring. She doesn't know how to mourn properly or how to move on, but then again, who does?

There was a time of blue eyes and jet black hair, of red chakra and curse seals, of leaves and musical notes. It wasn't all good but it wasn't all bad either, and she wants to go back to that, to them. There's only one way to return though and she knows this already. She makes her decision and her hands tighten around the hilt of a black kunai that seems to grin at her as she lifts it up high.

The blade plunges into her skin like rainwater.

* * *

"_Sakura."_

The voice is so heartbreakingly familiar that it makes her eyes well up with tears. She's finally caught up to her boys.

"S-Sasuke," she gasps, meeting his black eyes.

His impassive alabaster face remains unchanged, he doesn't offer warm embraces or even a smile. His stance is tense, his fists are balled and he is so very angry. They stand in a training ground, _their training ground_, except it feels different and exactly the same at the same time. Clouds cover the sun and it's raining here too, drowning the already dead grass when she could have sworn it was green a few minutes ago.

"Sasuke, where's Naruto?" she demands, her voice trembling.

He remains silent and refuses to tell her anything. He looks ready to hit her.

She tries again, "Sasuke-"

"_You should be nicer to her, Sasuke. She did come all the way here and I know you've missed her too," _a voice like fluid water rings out throughout the training ground, slightly distorted by the rain.

A man in white that she's only seen in textbooks walks towards them at an unhurried pace, emanating a quiet peace. At first, she mistakes him for Naruto and nearly runs towards him, but then she takes a second look and notices the deeper blue eyes and the sharper features. He doesn't have his whiskers either, whiskers that she would run her thumbs over when her Naruto was fast asleep at night.

"_Hello, Sakura. Naruto's told me all about you," _he said, smiling at her.

"Naruto? Is he here?" she asks quickly.

The Fourth Hokage nods and says, _"He is."_

"But…why are you here? And where are we?" she questions and he smiles again. She knows he must have been a teacher, he has the smile, the patience and even though she never saw him in action she knows he was the best Hokage.

"_I'm Naruto's father," _he tells her, chuckling at her stunned expression, _"This is Naruto's place in between heaven and hell. It's based on all of his favourite places, the places he's been most happy in. He hasn't decided to move on to heaven yet."_

"_She shouldn't be here. She's not meant to be dead," _Sasuke argues with the Fourth Hokage.

Minato points out, _"She's the only one who can help Naruto." _

"Is there something wrong with Naruto?" she asks, growing anxious.

Sasuke looks at her for a long time before turning away. He's wearing the Uchiha emblazoned shirt of his childhood, she realizes, and beside him the Fourth Hokage offers her a small apologetic smile.

He tells her, _"You need to go see him. He's at the memorial stone."_

The trees are thick and there are so many more of them than she remembers as she runs through the forest leading to the memorial stone. _Naruto_, she thinks, _I'm going to see Naruto soon_ and she wants to cry and laugh at the same time. Her heart is pounding in her chest, a frenzied thud thud, thud thud and her shoes slap against the muddy ground in time to her heartbeat.

The forest gives way to a small clearing and she can hear the distinctive sounds of metal on stone. She runs faster, faster and stops when she sees the back of a blond working at the memorial stone.

"Naruto?" she asks in a whisper, nearly afraid of the answer.

She receives no answer and the sounds of metal on stone continue. The blond is carving something into the stone and she lifts her leaden feet, putting them one in front of the other as though she's forgotten how to walk. She can see his whole ear now, the spiky fringe of blonde, the whiskers on his cheek-

And she sees his eyes.

Even if he stood in a crowd of two hundred blue eyed, blond haired men, she could tell who he was in a heartbeat. His eyes are a vibrant blue, crackling with energy and compassion, flecked with darker shades of subdued sapphire and they've always been so expressive.

But this is not Naruto as she remembers. This is a boy-child, this is Naruto as a twelve year old. His grip on the kunai is sloppy and his hands are bleeding profusely.

"What are you doing?" she asks him in a whisper that carries around the entire area.

The rain pelts down against both of them, soaking her to the bone. The boy _Naruto _continues carving something into the memorial stone and doesn't answer her at all. She looks at the memorial stone and a chill runs down her spine as she reads the names on it.

_Haruno Sakura_

_Haruno Sakura_

_Haruno Sakura_

_Haruno Sakura_

_Haruno Sakura_

_Haruno Sakura_

_Haruno Sakura_

_Haruno Sakura_

He's written her name into the stone at least one hundred times already and he's still going, his eyes haunted. Seeing him carve her name into the stone makes her feel as though she'll never be happy again and she has to stop him. She grabs his hands so that he can't write anymore and he struggles and struggles and struggles-

"Naruto, no," she tells him, "Naruto, don't, don't-"

"_Let me go! Let me go! I'm not finished yet, _I can't finish_, I need to keep going, _let me go!" he shouts at her, his eyes wild.

"Naruto, I'm right here, you can stop writing," she pleads with him and the rain cuts into her like daggers of ice.

"_I can't! I can't stop, I can't ever stop because it's for her, I can't I can't __**I can't**__-"_

"Stop it Naruto, please-"

"**I killed her!" **he screams.

She releases him in shock.

He begins to tremble, the whites of his eyes tinted pink with his tears. He shudders and shakes and begins to gasp, his hands bleeding and he begins to wipe at his eyes. The water that streams down his face is pink and he turns back to the memorial stone, carving the name into the tablet. His hands are streaming red, red blood and seep into the grooves of her name, filling them and overflowing over the sides of the memorial stone.

"Naruto, you didn't kill me."

The rain pours torrentially and fills the silence. It sounds like heartbreak and casts a shimmering flicker on everything like an age old movie screen.

"I killed myself," she answers him, her voice breaking, "I killed myself so I could be with you."

And suddenly she is standing in a room.

The room is a pale yellow and never seems to end, she can't make out walls or ceilings or even the floor that she's standing on. It swirls around in her mind's eye and there's a man in front of her with his back towards her.

He turns.

_Naruto, Naruto, __**Naruto-**_

She cries and covers her mouth, trying to stifle her sobs. He watches her with a sad, sad smile and it's his whiskers, his hair, his _eyes _and he's her Naruto, he's the Naruto she remembers.

"I missed you," she gasps, "Naruto, I-"

He's warm and soft and cupping her face, stroking her hair. She places her hands over his, holding them in place as if he's going to let go and she'll never see him again. Her face is wet with tears and she can't control her breathing but Naruto is here, _he's finally here_.

"You have to go back," he whispers, his breath curling across her face like life.

"No…no, you don't understand, I came here for you. Naruto, I _love_ you," her voice is desperate, she's trying to make him see.

He shakes his head and explains, "You're not meant to be here, it wasn't your time to die."

"It wasn't yours either!" she shouts at him, the tears pouring down her face. She rips away from his hold as if he's burned her and he watches her again with that same sad, sad smile.

"Sakura, I died so that you could live. I want you to live a long, happy life. Without me," he explains to her, his voice strained.

"I don't want to live without you. I can't," she sobs, shaking her head over and over again.

There's an inner struggle in his eyes and he can't take it anymore, he has to pull her into his arms. He holds her close, _just like the last time_, and she's trembling like a child in his arms, clinging to his black shirt. He nearly tells her to stay, nearly tells her to leave her life behind and it's so **hard **because he still loves her so much and always will.

"You need to live, Sakura," he tells her, "There are people who still need you."

She's still shaking her head and gasps, "I need you, I want to stay here-"

He forces her to meet his eyes, pressing his forehead against hers. He says to her, "If you die, you will rob Kakashi and Tsunade of their reasons to live. If you die now to be with me, it will be the same as me killing you and I could never _never_ bear that."

Her loud sobs fill the air and her body convulses with every breath she takes. It hurts him to see her like this but he has to make her understand, has to make her see.

"You have to go back. There are people who love you and need you back in Konoha, and I want you to live for me."

A long silence falls. Every second is another stab of pain, another moment wasted.

"Will you…will you wait for me?" she asks him.

His eyes are burning hotly now and he answers, "I promise."

She can trust him, he never goes back on his ninja way. She takes a deep breath in and touches his face, traces his whiskers. She's trying to remember everything about him because she won't be seeing him again for a very long time and it'll be so so difficult.

Then she nods. Her voice comes in a rush, "Okay."

And then she's sobbing, sobbing with acceptance and he's crying too. It's going to be so hard, but he knows she'll make it through because she's strong, she's invincible, and he finally kisses her deeply. He kisses her with passion, with love and his hands are pulling her close. Their bodies fit like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle and she runs her fingers through his hair, trying to make it last forever.

They break apart.

_This is a promise, this is forever and __**this is-**_

He presses his lips to hers again in another kiss, soft and chaste. It tastes bittersweet, like regret and he fades away.

She wakes up in a white hospital room, the steady beep of a life support machine somewhere to her left. A whisper carries around the sterile room, that escalates to a reasonable speaking volume, that escalates to a shout, "She's awake!"

And suddenly there are so many people in her room, so many faces. Tsunade, Kakashi, Sai, Ino, Shikamaru, Kiba, Hinata, they're all there and she laughs as Ino hugs her suddenly through loud wailing and smiles at another surprising embrace from Sai. She feels happier than she has in a long, long time.

She lives.

* * *

"_**You're not going to make me go back again, are you?"**_

"_**Haha, not this time. This is it."**_

"…_**I was so scared that…that you might have gotten tired of waiting and moved on-"**_

"_**I would **_**never **_**have done that. I made a promise to you."**_

"_**I missed you…I missed you so much."**_

"_**Aw no, if you keep this up I'm going to start crying- ahh, too late. No, don't you start crying too-"**_

"_**I'm just so happy that we're together again and I can't help it because I wanted to see you so much-"**_

"_**I love you. I love you so much that I would've waited forever if I had to."**_

"_**Let's go home, Naruto."**_

"_**Yeah. I think Sasuke-bastard's gotten pissed off waiting for us."**_

"_**We shouldn't keep him waiting."**_

"_**Hell yes, no more waiting. Come on, let's go there…together."**_

* * *

**A/N:**  
Thanks everyone for reading! This is the end. The very end. Yes, I did throw in the epliogue in the end because the story did not feel finished and Naruto deserves his happy ending. (naruto is too emotional. he's worse than me.)

I really just want to thank everyone for the support you've all given me. 100+ reviews! It's amazing, thanks so much everyone. It's been tough writing Everything and I'm glad you managed to put up with all the late updates, late review replies and the scrappy writing of a fourteen year old, haha. I nearly cracked halfway through and if it wasn't for you guys I probably would have.

**Selandora (loves you guys very much and will give you this last sentence.)**


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